In My Sky at Twilight
by GreensAMC
Summary: A Brucas story set in September 2011, told with help of a few flashbacks, and set to the poetry of Pablo Neruda.  Brooke is getting married and Lucas is determined to stop her.  Enjoy!
1. Your Heart Sails Through Dream

Brooke touched up her lipstick and pinched her cheeks to bring out some color on her face. She looked at herself in the mirror one final time and slowly put away everything in her make-up bag. It took her bit longer to stand up these days and she sure couldn't handle another session of throwing up at that moment. When she turned around to walk out, she saw her wedding dress. She had to hold on to the chair with both hands to keep her weak knees straight. There it was on the mannequin...her own creation, staring back at her. She walked over and traced with the fingers of her right hand the lace woven neckline. The silk skirt brushed up against her legs. She kneeled down next to the dress to open the box that caught her eye. It contained extra wedding invitations.

Brooke: "Davis and Baker-Norris families request your attendance at the wedding of Brooke Penelope Davis and Julian Baker on September 10, 2011 on Tree Hill Island."

She stood up to face her dress again and dropped the invitation on the floor.

B: "I'm getting married."

Millie: "There you are. Come on. Everyone's waiting for you outside. Brooke?"

Brooke kept staring at her dress. She hadn't even heard Millie come in.

M: "Yes, it's an amazing dress. Your best design so far. But could you possibly part with it for a few hours to come host your dinner? Brooke, are you ok?"

Only when Millie touched her shoulder, Brooke realized she wasn't alone anymore.

B: "Hi. Sorry, I got caught up."

M: "I can see that. We're all starving. Are you ready to come down?"

B: "Yes, I can live with being fashionably late. Is my husband-to-be there already?"

M: "Yes, Julian's been grilling and drinking for a while now. All we're missing is you. And Hayley."

B: "Where's Hayley?"

M: "I'm not sure. She called to say she'd be a little late but that she promises it'll be worth the wait. Brooke, are you're ok?"

B: "Yes, Millie. Why wouldn't I be? I'm marrying the most wonderful man in a few days in front of my friends and family. Everything's perfect."

Millie heard the words and could tell it was what Brooke believed...or maybe wanted to believe. But it was as if her friend's eyes and lips couldn't agree on the sentiment. She thought maybe it was the pre-wedding jitters.

M: "You know you can talk to me anytime...about anything, right?"

B: "Millie, seriously? I'm fine. Everything's fine. Nothing to talk about. Now let's get this party started."

For their wedding destination, Brooke and Julian had chosen Tree Hill Island located a short distance off the coast of Tree Hill. They had rented the only property on the island practically securing that the entire island would belong to them. Brooke had put together a week full of events leading up to their wedding day. Today was only the beginning. Their core group of friends had arrived throughout the day and were gathering outside for the welcome dinner. As she was coming down the stairs, Brooke caught a glimpse of Julian and Nathan talking as they shared grilling duties. As she walked over to them, she saw Mouth and Skills schooling Jaime on the intricacies of the perfect frisbee throw and she waived at Clay, Chase and Skills bringing drinks for Alex, Mia, and Quinn. A smile crossed her lips for the first time that day. She wouldn't let anything ruin this day, this week for her.

B: "Hi fiancé."

Julian: "Finally. Where have you been?"

B: "Getting beautiful for you."

J: "Amazing job...as always. Hey everyone, bring your drinks over to the table. Let's eat."

Nathan: "Brooke, can you bring that last plate of steaks please?"

B: "Sure. Hey, do you know where Hayley is?"

Walking towards the table and carrying a plate of grilled fish himself, Nathan pointed to the boat sailing away from the mainland.

N: "That should be her. She called a few minutes ago to say she was on her way."

B: "Any idea what this surprise of hers is?"

N: "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you now, would it?"

B: "Score one for the husband. You keep the wife's secrets."

N: "Lesson one for a happy marriage."

J: "Can I enrol in this marriage class of yours?"

N: "There's only one lesson for you. Brooke is always right. When she's not, see lesson one and apologize. "

B: "Fiancé already mastered that lesson a long time ago."

Julian laughingly pulled Brooke down on his lap and kissed her.

Jaime: "Gross."

J: "Just wait a few years Jaime and we'll talk then."

As Nathan served the food, Julian asked for everyone's drink orders. Brooke volunteered herself for a trip to the wine cellar. Before she left, she took one last look back at the boat, now almost at the island pier and wondered what Hayley was up to. After a few wrong turns, Brooke finally found the cellar. She was almost done filling the crate with several bottles when she noticed Julian's favourite red on the top shelf. She tried to reach it but despite her four-inch heels, she was still short of target. That's when she heard the footsteps approaching. Assuming it was Julian checking up on her, she called for him.

B: "Julian, can you help me? I can't reach it. Please?"

She felt him behind her...his arm slowly reaching up above hers, grabbing the bottle. His hand brushed up against her, his breath on her neck. Suddenly, her heart skipped a beat trying to match the silence in the room, telling her to stand still, not to turn around. His hand held out the bottle in front of her, his arm wrapped around her waist only a few inches apart. Her eyes looked down to the bottle, to the hand holding it. She dropped her head and closed her eyes. Maybe, just maybe if she didn't see it, it wouldn't be happening...he wouldn't be there. She slowly reached out her left hand to take the bottle, but her hand lingered on his. She didn't have the strength to pull it away. She would know his scent, his touch, his breath anywhere. When she left him in New York six weeks ago without a word, she had forced herself to erase that day, that night...it never happened. But it wouldn't be that easy. Even thousands of miles away, a part of him had been with her every second of every day since then. And now, was he really here? Her eyes still closed, her hand on his, she took a deep breath and slowly turned around. Maybe her mind was just playing tricks. She would open her eyes and find herself alone daydreaming about impossibilities. She told herself silently "Julian. You love Julian. You're marrying Julian. Stop this." That's all it was...a dream. She raised her head and opened her eyes. For a brief moment she was blinded by a ray of light from the setting sun peering through the narrow cellar windows. Just when she thought she was safe, she heard his voice.

Lucas: "Hi pretty girl."

_It's good to feel you are close to me in the night, love,_

_invisible in your sleep, intently nocturnal,_

_while I untangle my worries_

_as if they were twisted nets._

_Withdrawn, your heart sails through dream,_

_but your body, relinquished so, breathes_

_seeking me without seeing me perfecting my dream._

_~Pablo Neruda_


	2. Lost in the Forest

**Chapter II: Lost in the Forest**

He had never been this nervous coming home before. For the few minutes he waited for Hayley to pick him up from the airport, Lucas changed his mind maybe a hundred times. He walked back to the sales counter to buy a ticket back to New York but he just couldn't take his wallet out. Thinking that he couldn't wait another minute, he considered taking a taxi right away. He dialled his daughter's daycare hoping they'd give him a reason to fly back, but he hung up before they could answer. Pacing back and forth outside the terminal, he told himself he couldn't leave now. After so many unreturned voicemails and emails, Brooke would have no choice but to talk to him...to listen to him. Lucas was on a mission; there was no stopping until he had his say. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice Hayley running towards him until he felt her familiar hug.

Hayley: "Welcome home Lucas Scott. I have missed you."

Lucas: "You too Hales. You too."

Hayley quickly separated and stepped behind him with a curious look.

H: "Where's Peyton? Where's my beautiful niece?"

L: "It's just me this time."

H: "What do you mean? Did they miss the flight? Are they coming later?"

L: "No Hales, they're not coming."

H: "Is Sawyer ok?"

L: "Yes, yes, she's fine. She's great. It's not about that."

H: "What's going on Luke?"

L: "Take a breath. Everything's fine Hayley. But these bags are getting heavy. Can we talk in the car?"

H: "Okay, but you'd better tell me everything."

Hayley helped Lucas with his bags and led him to her car, but not before giving him one more hug. They hadn't seen each other since Lucas and Peyton had left Tree Hill three years ago. They tried to keep in touch, but the frequency of contact fell short of ideal especially after the birth of her second child 4 months ago. Nathan and Hayley named their daughter Lydia, after Hayley's mother. First order of business was to share pictures of the newborn, but it didn't take long for Hayley to ask for the full story why Lucas had arrived alone. While he answered Hayley's questions, he couldn't help but notice she was asking the same questions Brooke had six weeks ago in New York.

_Six weeks ago, Lucas's Office, New York City _

Brooke: "Hello Mr. Scott. Your 10 o'clock is here."

Lucas: "Brooke? How did they let you up here without calling me?"

B: "You know I have my ways. I'll give you one hint. Your assistant's wearing my designs."

L: "What are you doing here?"

B: "Can't I visit my friend? Julian's in Europe promoting his new movie so I thought I'd take a trip of my own. You haven't seen me in almost three years. Now I'm standing right in front of you and how I got here is all you want to talk about?"

Lucas shook off his surprise with a smile and walked around his desk to give her a hug.

B: "That's more like it."

L: "I have missed you."

B: "So why aren't you acting like it? You still haven't rsvp'd for the wedding. You and Peyton have something better to do that week?"

L: "Brooke, I'm sorry about that. It's been quite hectic here lately."

B: "What's up?"

L: "It's just work. You see these piles I have to edit? Books, articles, screenplays...I'm swamped."

B: "Edit? How do you find time to edit someone else's work? Aren't you writing anymore?"

L: "Not lately."

B: "Okay. What is going on? When have you become Mr. Professional living in his office, correcting other people's stories? Who are you?"

L: "Brooke, three years is a long time. Are you telling me you haven't changed one bit? I don't expect you to understand."

B: "I want to understand. You, me, a cup of coffee. Let's get out."

L: "I can't right now. I have this deadline..."

B: "Seriously? You've seen how I worked the assistant. Point me to the boss."

L: "Ok, Ok...sometimes I forget you can't say no to Brooke Davis. Let's go."

Over coffee and with that disarming smile, Brooke slowly started to bring down Lucas's walls and get him to tell the real story. He and Peyton had officially separated three months ago, but their marriage had been on the rocks long before that. They were living apart, but sharing custody of Sawyer. Brooke thought that explained why Peyton wasn't answering her calls or why there was no one at home when she stopped by this morning. Peyton had taken Sawyer with her to Los Angeles to see a band she wanted to sign for her label. And, Lucas was in New York trying to drown his sorrows in piles of badly written manuscripts.

B: "I am so sorry Luke. What can I do? Do you want me to talk to Peyton? Or should I be kicking your ass for screwing this up? If you want to tell me what went wrong, I'm here to listen."

L: "I don't know, Brooke. When we were travelling just the three of us, everything was fine. Maybe it was the high of new parenthood. Things started to fall apart when we moved here. Somehow we became two friends, two best friends, who happened to share a child. Our worlds moved farther away from one another each day. We started to avoid doing things together. You said it...I practically live in the office. And, Peyton, well, she travelled more and more with the label's clients. At the end, Sawyer was our only link. We both want to be good parents, but staying in an unhappy marriage is not being good parents. Wanting to make it work wasn't enough."

B: "Are you sure you can't fix this? I mean it's you and Peyton. Peyton and you. God, since the day you two met."

L: "Brooke, Peyton's living with her boyfriend."

B: "Ok, that settles whose ass I'm kicking."

L: "No, Brooke. It's ok. He's a nice guy actually. They work together. He makes her happy...the way I couldn't. The Brooke Davis I know would want that for her best friend. Am I right?"

B: "I want you both to be happy. I look at you...and Luke, you're miserable."

L: "Thanks. Look, I've felt better, yes. But, this isn't about Peyton, it's more about me. The choices I made, how wrong things turned out. I'm not who I was supposed to be...I'm not where I saw myself being. Does that make sense?"

B: "Then change it. Instead of sitting idly by watching life happen to you, get up, take charge. You were good at that once. I bet you can do it again."

L: "Just like that, huh? That easy?"

B: "It's not all doom and gloom. You have friends and family who love you and will support through anything. You have a beautiful daughter who idolizes you. You are insanely talented when you focus on your own original work. You live in the most alive, anything-can-happen-at-anytime city in the world. And you have me."

L: "I know that face. What are you up to?"

B: "Well, you need to have some fun and I know just the cheerleader. After all, you haven't seen New York until you've seen it with me."

Somehow Brooke managed to convince Lucas to take the day off and explore the city with her. There was only one rule...no talking about Peyton or work. First stop was walking across the Brooklynn Bridge for a pizza lunch at Grimaldi's. On the way back, they danced to the songs of the subway musicians followed by rowing at Central Park until they crashed on the lawn watching people pass by. Lucas hadn't felt this light, free, and...happy for a long time. Brooke had that effect on people, on him particularly...making him feel anything was possible, nothing was out of reach, all you had to do was believe. He hadn't believed in himself for far too long. How had she managed to change all that in just a few hours? Just this morning, there he was in his office yet again, jaded, struggling to keep reading someone else's words on paper. And now, here he was, barefoot, lying silent in the sun, with Brooke by his side, unable to contain his smile, with a million ideas for his next book flowing in that re-energized mind of his.

L: "How do you do that?"

B: "What?"

L: "Keep changing my life without even trying?"

_Present Day, Tree Hill Island _

Lucas had told Hayley the story of his separation from Peyton on the drive from the airport. He asked her to keep it between them for now. Neither Peyton nor Lucas was ready for the meddling and judgment that would follow their friends and family finding out. They were on the boat sailing towards Tree Hill Island now.

Hayley: "You can't keep this a secret forever you know. They are going to ask you where Peyton and Sawyer are the second you show up alone. By the way, I didn't tell them you were coming just as you asked. All these secrets are giving me a headache."

Lucas: "I'm sorry Hales for getting you in the middle of my drama. But, I couldn't lie to you. Thank you for keeping my arrival a surprise. I just wasn't sure if Brooke wanted to see me here this week."

H: "Why wouldn't Brooke want to see you? Luke, what's going on?"

L: "Nothing, literally nothing."

H: "How come I get the feeling you want something to be going on?"

Lucas was quiet, staring at the pier they were approaching, at the island were Brooke was...and, in a few minutes he would see her. Would she be happy to see him? What would she say? Better yet, what would he say? He wondered if she was looking back at him from the island. He took a deep breath and turned to look at Hayley.

H: "Oh no. I know that look. Don't do this. This is her wedding you're sailing to. You know that, right? Just this once, things may not go as you expect them to. I hope you know what you're doing. Please be careful Luke. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Lucas hugged her friend and promised her everything would be all right. He believed that maybe if he said it out loud enough times, maybe it would come true. As if the walk from the pier to the garden where everyone was gathered wasn't torture enough, he couldn't see Brooke in the crowd. While his eyes searched for her everywhere, he could barely hear everyone greeting him as a pleasant surprise, his brother hugging him, Julian shaking his hand, Jaime jumping up for his own hug and asking about Sawyer.

Lucas: "She's with Peyton in New York. They can't make it buddy. Peyton has to work this week. But she misses you very much. They both do."

Nathan gave Hayley a welcome kiss and handed over the baby monitor.

Nathan: "Lydia's napping inside."

As Hayley went inside to check on her daughter, Lucas asked where the bride was hiding.

Julian: "She went to grab some wine bottles from the cellar. I'll go check on her."  
Lucas: "No, let me."

Julian: "Thanks man. She'll be happy to see you. Cellar's down the stairs to the left."

Lucas practically ran down the stairs; everything was a blur until he saw Brooke. She was standing only a few feet away, with her back to him, one arm extended over her head trying to reach a high shelf. She was wearing a dark green sun dress with a low cut back. Her hair was pulled up, exposing her neck. He knew the delicate moves of that neck, the curve of her back like the back of his hand. He snapped back to reality only when she called for help...she called for Julian. He slowly approached, her perfume getting more intense with each step. He was so close that only an inch more and he'd touch her. He reached up and grabbed the bottle only to hold it in front for her to take. He could tell she knew it was him...she was deliberately prolonging the moment, refusing to turn around. When she reached out for the bottle, her hand landed on his...a simple touch that sent shivers down his body. She finally turned around eyes closed. He wanted to hold her face, tell her to open her eyes and see him. But he couldn't find the strength to speak. When she finally raised her head and looked at him...her face was illuminated by a ray of light from the setting sun peering through the narrow cellar windows. She was more beautiful than he remembered...than he thought ever possible.

Lucas: "Hi pretty girl."

_as if suddenly the roots I had left behind_

_cried out to me, the land I had lost with my childhood_

_and I stopped, wounded by the wandering scent._

_~Pablo Neruda_


	3. Maybe You'll Remember

Staring into each other's eyes, Brooke and Lucas let the wine bottle they were barely holding fall to the ground... shattered in a million pieces of broken glass. Brooke kneeled down as if she could pick up the pieces and make it whole again. Lucas followed to help her.

Brooke: "Don't call me that."

Lucas: "What?"

B: "You know what."

L: "Pretty girl?"

B: "That's what."

L: "Brooke, the wine spilled on your dress. I'm so sorry."

B: "It's all over your shirt too."

They both dropped the pieces of broken glass they'd been picking up and slowly stood up. That was when she took her first real look at him. He was wearing a blue button down shirt that brought out the color of his eyes. He seemed different than when she left him in New York...nervous maybe, but yet there was a determined, resolved look to him. She reached out to touch where the wine stained his shirt. As her hand lingered on his chest, his hand reached out to her face and wiped a small drop of wine off her cheek. For a brief moment, she closed her eyes and let her face lean onto his hand. She quickly took a step back and he knew she would soon walk away so she didn't have to face him.

B: "What are you doing here?"

L: "Surprise?"

B: "Hayley brought you."

L: "Don't be mad at her. I made her promise to keep it a secret."

B: "Because you know I wouldn't let you."

L: "So not a pleasant surprise then?"

B: "You can't be here. Why are you here?"

L: "You know why."

And there it was just as he expected...she walked away towards a crate of wine bottles and turned her back to him.

L: "Why haven't you returned any of my calls?"

B: "Because there is nothing to say."

L: "You know that's not true. There's so much left unsaid. Brooke, look at me. Please."

Brooke gathered any courage she may have left in her. She repeated Julian's name in her mind a few times. Turning around felt like she was about to face possibly her biggest challenge yet. Lucas walked towards her stopping only a few inches away.

L: "Tell me to go. Tell me you don't want me here and I'll go."

Brooke just stared at him...before she could say anything, Hayley interrupted them.

Hayley: "Hey guys, is everything all right? I thought I heard broken glass."

Brooke broke her stare and composed herself to face Hayley.

B: "I dropped a bottle. Julian's favourite actually. But we're fine. So Hales, this is your surprise?"

L: "I told her to blame me for making you keep it from her."

H: "Now that the cat's out of the bag, shall we join the others?"

L: "Hayley, I need to talk to Brooke. We'll meet you in a few..."

B: "No, we're done here. Let's go."

As Hayley helped Brooke carry the crate upstairs, a frustrated Lucas stayed behind for a minute to wonder whether there was something else he should have said to change Brooke's mind. When Hayley noticed Lucas was not following them, she took the opportunity to make sure Brooke was fine with him being there.

B: "Why wouldn't I be?"

H: "Just let me know if he is ever out of line. This is your week and I'll make sure nothing or no one gets in the way."

After Lucas caught up with them on the stairs, they all hurried to join the party outside. And what a party it was...too much food and drinks with a side of laughter as usual. From Julian's toast to love and friendship to the maid of honor Millie's toast full of incriminating Brooke Davis stories, everyone was in a celebratory mood...everyone but Brooke and Lucas. Lucas simply watched Brooke the whole time. Every time Julian touched Brooke, he felt he shrunk back further in his chair. Brooke didn't have to look at him to know he watched her. The few stolen moments when her eyes met his were the only times she felt comfortable that evening. When one by one they started to fall, some due to exhaustion, some more so from the wine, Brooke and Julian showed their guests to their rooms. When they said their good nights, Lucas had to watch Julian put his arm around Brooke's waist as they walked away. He could only stand there staring at the empty space where she used to be. He dropped his bags to the side and closed the door behind him. His hands cradling his too heavy head full of regret, he let his body fall to the ground, his back leaning against the door. A long night was ahead and there would be no sleep for him.

When Brooke said good night to Lucas and walked away with Julian, it took all her strength not to look back one last time. She kept telling herself Juian was the man she was meant to be with; in the arms around her waist was where she belonged. Practically carrying her drunk fiancé to bed, she wished him sweet dreams with a kiss on the cheek. She lied down next to him and watched him sleep for a while, this handsome man who loved her, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, who had been there for her every step of the way since they had meet years ago. In this room, with this man, she felt cared for and safe...so why could she not stop looking back at the door? She turned away from Julian on the bed and stared out the window. She wondered if it was human nature, or maybe just her nature, to want something one couldn't, shouldn't have...to not be content with a good thing, always wanting more...regardless of the wreck one may leave along the way. She wouldn't do that to him. She wouldn't do that to herself. A long night was ahead and there would be no sleep for her. She had to get out, breathe, shake these thoughts out of her head. She got up, wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and with one last look at her sleeping fiancé, she left the room. Walking quietly through the dark house and empty gardens, Brooke found herself at the pier in the silent, brisk and moonlit night. She kicked off her shoes and sat down at the end of the pier her toes barely touching the cool water. When she looked up in the starry night sky, Brooke remembered her time with Lucas in New York.

_Six weeks ago, Rooftop at Lucas's Apartment, New York City_

Brooke: "Do you know how rare it is to see stars in the New York sky?"

Lucas: "Even the city lights dim down around you so the stars can come out."

B: "Flattery will get you everywhere."

Brooke and Lucas had picked up Chinese food and beer on their way back from Central Park. They decided to eat on the rooftop overlooking the city skyline. Brooke called emptying the boxes onto plates and opening the beer bottles her best cooking yet. Who could disagree when the service came with that charming smile?

B: "I'm about to break the one and only rule of the day. Can I ask you about this editing job?"

L: "I know what you're going to say. Some call it writer's block. I call it lack of inspiration. Words haven't flowed as easily for a while now...at least not as easily as they used to. And I had to pay the bills somehow. It's a good job..."

B: "But not for you."

L: "You go straight for the jugular, don't you?"

B: "You know I never held back. It's one of the things you love about me."

L: "One of the many things."

B: "Is Peyton the reason for your lack of inspiration?"

L: "There you go breaking rules left and right."

B: "It's my rule and I always meant to break it anyway."

L: "I haven't written in over a year Brooke. So, no. The problem predates the separation."

Brooke took Lucas's plate and put it down next to hers. She grabbed his hand and told him to follow her. When they reached the side of the rooftop, she told him to look.

L: "Where?"

B: "Out there Luke. Do you see it?"

L: "What?"

B: "Life. Streets. People. Too many looking for someone, anyone to connect with on these busy streets, some too miserable to see the thing to change their life is right in front of them, a few foolishly in love, but all full of stories waiting to be told. This is New York City, Luke. You couldn't have picked a better place to inspire you. Lights, sounds, smells...this is the live, 24/7, at-your-door-step human experiment. Look and you'll see. Could it be that you don't want to open your eyes?"

Lucas and Brooke stood side by side, holding hands, watching life on the streets of New York.

L: "You know I think I've been stuck...for a long time."

B: "Stuck?"

L: "On this perpetual loop that brings me back to this one day...like I'm imprisoned forever in that school."

B: "High school?"

L: "On the day Keith was murdered."

B: "I don't understand."

L: "Nothing was ever the same again after that day. I had all this anger...sadness that filled me up. There was no room for anything else."

B: "Lucas."

L: "So I've kept going back...back to that day...to the few precious minutes before Dan pulled the trigger. I've kept throwing myself back to those moments before Keith was lost forever...hoping that maybe this time I could change it, stop him, make everything better. I've kept going back to that library...to Peyton. I lived in the past, blind to the present...to the future."

B: "Think you can open your eyes now?"

L: "I'm sorry Brooke."

B: "For what?"

L: "I hurt you."

B: "Lucas, please."

L: "No, let me finish. I have to say this. It's like the last 10 years is my version of Groundhog Day. The worse thing is I did this to myself. I kept forcing myself to wake up every morning in that library wishing I did something, anything so that day would have a different ending. Being with Peyton...she was there with me that day. She's a part of this...this vicious cycle, this glass house filled with the past I created for myself. I hurt you. You can't know how sorry I am for that."

B: "Stop. There's no need for apologies. It's ancient history Luke. You and I were a lifetime ago. We both made some mistakes and just as many good decisions. Think of Sawyer."

L: "I can't regret that. Having her almost makes everything worth it."

B: "So maybe the answer isn't to write off the past all together. Maybe it's to take the good, the important with you when you move on. Think you can look forward now?"

L: "Will you be ahead when I look?"

B: "You see, Brooke Davis is an omnipresent entity, I can't help it. Once you know me, you can't get rid of me."

L: "Thank God for small favors."

Brooked hit Lucas's shoulder gently with the back of her hand.

B: "Hey, no one ever calls me small."

L: "Can we go back to the food now?"

B: "Yes, please."

Brooke flashed that signature Davis smile and held out her hand. When Lucas extended his hand to reach hers, there was peace in his mind and in his heart.

L: "I'm glad you're here."

_Present Day, Tree Hill Island Pier_

Brooke was so lost in memories that she didn't notice him approach. Her gaze into the night sky of the past was interrupted when she felt a hand on her shoulder. When she turned around, she came face to face with Lucas.

Brooke: "I'm glad you're here."

_Then love knew it was called love. _

_And when I lifted my eyes to your name, _

_suddenly your heart showed me my way._

_~Pablo Neruda_


	4. War of Lightning

In his room, Lucas picked himself up from the floor and walked towards the light from the moon. He couldn't breathe in this place alone. He pushed the window open and leaned out hoping it would be easier to inhale...but it was as if the wide open night sky had claimed all air for itself. That was when he saw her...only a silhouette in the dark at first, but he would know the way she moved a mile away. He watched her walk through the gardens and sit down at the edge of the pier. Grabbing his jacket off the chair, he ran out the room. Regardless of what she had said earlier, Brooke had been the one person he could always talk to, be honest with. This was his chance to get everything out in the open without any interruptions. As he had done every day for the past six weeks whenever he felt weak, he drew strength and courage from his time with Brooke in New York.

_Six weeks ago, Lucas's Apartment, New York City_

Brooke: "Thank you for the jacket. It got chilly up there. Here."

Lucas: "No problem."

Brooke and Lucas were back in his apartment after their rooftop dinner. Lucas could tell Brooke was about to say goodbye and he felt this need to do, say anything to keep her with him longer. For the first time in months he felt like a new man...no worries, no questions, nothing to drag him down. In less than a day, Brooke had managed to give him hope. Honestly, it wasn't the first time she had done that.

B: "It's getting late. I should go."

L: "You can stay here you know. I mean in the guest room."

B: "Hmmm...five star luxury penthouse or slumming it at Casa Scott. Tough choice."

L: "Well, when you put it that way."

B: "I'm kidding. I'd love to stay, but I actually have to do some work tonight and my portfolio is at the hotel. My flight is at a sinfully early hour so I'd be a nuisance to have around anyway."

L: "You'd be surprised how early I wake up these days. We could go get your stuff from the hotel and come back here."

B: "If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're afraid of the dark. Or is it that you don't want to be alone?"

L: "It's not just any company Brooke. I forgot how good this feels. You and I...how much fun we have. I've missed talking to you. Can you blame a guy for wanting to hold on to a good thing?"

Lucas could tell she hesitated. Maybe, just maybe he was getting through to her.

B: "I have to go. But, this book isn't over yet. Chapter two features a wedding back at Tree Hill in a few weeks. Don't think I've forgotten you haven't said you're coming yet."

Lucas took a step back. The wedding. Brooke was getting married. Did he know that? Yes, he had received the invitation in the mail some time ago. But, until now when he heard her say the words, it hadn't been real. The fact was that they hadn't been together in almost a decade; their lives had taken them to very different places. So, why did the thought of another man sharing her life hit him like a ton of bricks just now?

L: "Yes, the wedding. If you want me there..."

B: "If I want you there? After everything we've meant to each other, you have to ask me that?"

L: "Are you sure?"

B: "Only if you promise to remain silent when the priest asks if anyone objects. Luke, seriously. The wedding invitation is just an excuse. I came here to make sure you were okay. And I'm glad I did. Now that my job is done, I can go. But not before I put these dirty dishes away."

L: "You don't have to do that."

B: "Yes I do. I've never been a bad guest and I'm not going to start now. After all I'd like to be invited back."

As Lucas was about to say she was always welcome, the sound of plates breaking and Brooke screaming pre-empted his response. For a moment he wasn't sure if he should be laughing or running to her rescue. With one hand she was holding the broken faucet valve and with the other she was trying to block the water from leaking out in every direction.

B: "Lucas, help! Don't just stand there. It's not funny. Luke!"

L: "Hold on."  
Lucas ran into the bathroom, took out a couple of towels from the closet and ran back to the kitchen. He helped Brooke wrap the towels around the faucet and tied a string around to hold them in place. While he grabbed his toolbox from the bedroom, Brooke could only stare at the mess. He came back to hand Brooke a towel and attempt to fix the faucet himself.

L: "Here, you can dry yourself off."

B: "I'm sorry Lucas. All I did was open the tab. I don't know what happened. Wait, I'll tell you what happened. Crappy New York City plumbing happened. Do you need help down there?"

L: "I'm ok. You ok?"

B: "Soaking wet, but that's a good look on me."

L: "There, I think I shut the water main. Can you check for me?"

B: "You're a genius."

Brooke kneeled down to help Lucas get out from under the sink. They sat facing each other on the kitchen floor...soaked, but amused. They both took a deep breath and smiled.

L: "Never a dull moment when Brooke Davis is around."

She held a towel to his face, wiping slowly the water off his cheeks, chin, and then forehead.

B: "Never."

He brushed a few strands of wet hair off her face and gently tucked them behind her ear. His hand lingered on the side of her neck. He could feel his heart start beating faster. His eyes locked on hers, Lucas found himself remembering how it felt to touch her, to trace every line and curve of her face, to taste her lips. He leaned in and let his hand on her neck pull her closer just a fraction of an inch. Brooke didn't pull away. One by one, she felt everything else fall away. It was as if not even air existed between them anymore...only two people with nothing to hold them back. A few more inches and they would almost touch. The second Brooke closed her eyes and leaned in further, a sharp pain made her jump back. Her hand had landed on a piece of broken plate which cut deep enough to bleed.

L: "Brooke, you're bleeding. Let me see."

B: "No, you stay back. I have to get out of here."

_Present day, Tree Hill Island Pier_

Lucas wondered what Brooke was thinking. Sitting on the edge of the pier, staring into the night sky, she seemed a million miles away...so far away that she didn't hear him walk up behind her. He reached out to touch her shoulder and she turned back.

Brooke: "I'm glad you're here."

She held out her hand and asked him to help pull her up. When she stumbled getting up, Lucas caught her by the waist pulling her body close enough to touch his. When she looked up to see his face an inch away, she quickly stepped back. Lucas put his jacket around her shoulders.

L: "This will keep you warm. It's chilly outside."

B: "Thank you."

L: "Couldn't sleep?"

B: "I didn't know insomnia was contagious."

L: "You ok?"

B: "Sure."

L: "I mean before, in the cellar..."

B: "Can we just rewind?"

L: "To where exactly? Before you saw me today? Before you came to New York? Before..."

B: "Stop. Just stop. Luke, I can't do this with you. Not now, not here. Don't you get it?"

L: "No, it's you who doesn't get it Brooke. I came here for you."

B: "And I'm glad you're here. You are my friend, one of my best friends. This is my wedding and you should be here. It wouldn't be complete without you."

L: "No, Brooke. I didn't come here for your wedding. I came here for you."

B: "What are you saying?"

L: "Don't marry him."

B: "Is this about New York?"

L: "Yes, it's about New York. And it's about Tree Hill, this place...it's about you and me. It's about us."

B: "There is no us."

L: "There could be. I want there to be."

B: "You might think you do, but you don't. You're lonely and I happen to be here."

L: "Don't you see Brooke? I'm not lonely. You occupy everything. The very morning you showed up six weeks ago, you filled up my world. There is nothing else, no room for anything else. It's you. Every second of every day...everywhere I go, it's you."

B: "Don't do this to me. Luke, please. Don't do it."

L: "I'll stop if you stop. Don't marry him."

B: "That would be a mistake."

L: "The mistake would be to run away only to find out what we've already known from the very start. You're trying Brooke...you think you can find someone else to share your life with...find someone else to love. The problem is you don't belong with that person. You belong to me. You'll never love another man like you love me."

Dropping his jacket on the ground, Brooke slapped Lucas across the cheek.

B: "Not if I can help it."

Lucas was left standing alone on the pier watching Brooke run back into the house. Brooke didn't stop until she closed the front door behind her. Her hand still on the knob and eyes closed, she leaned against the door and took what felt like her first breath since she had started running. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

Millie: "Brooke?"

Brooke looked away and wiped her tears.

M: "Are you crying?"

The moment Brooke asked what Millie was doing up so late, she saw her friend was in her robe carrying cans of whip cream. It was too late to take back the question.

M: "Mouth and I were...well, experimenting?"

B: "First, I did not need to know that, and second, way to go."

M: "Is that a smile I see? Now do you want to tell me what's wrong with you?"

B: "Nothing. I'm ok."

M: "No you're not. Come here, sit down. Would you like a glass of water?"

B: "No, I'm all right. Really."

M: "Are you expecting someone?"

B: "No, why?"

M: "You keep looking back at the door."

Brooke was wondering if Lucas had followed her and would come in any second. She didn't know then that he would sleep outside on the pier that night. He couldn't close his eyes in the same house Brooke slept next to another man.

B: "Lucas."

M: "What about him?"

B: "He's here."

M: "I know. We were all together at dinner. Brooke, what's going on?"

B: "He's here for me. He says he came here for me."

M: "Honey, we all did. You sure you don't want that glass of water?"

B: "You don't get it. He came here to ask me not to marry Julian. He says he wants to be with me. He looks at me...he says all these...all the right things."

M: "He's married."

B: "They're separated. They haven't been living together for months."

M: "Hold on. How do you feel? What about Julian?"

B: "Julian. God...I screwed up. I was weak...and I made a mess of my life."

M: "What did you do Brooke?"

B: "I betrayed the one man who has never let me down, who has always loved me unconditionally. I let myself remember what it felt like to want Lucas, to need him...to love him. And now, I don't know how to stop."

_Love is a journey through waters and stars,_

_through suffocating air, sharp tempests of grain:_

_Love is a war of lightning,_

_and two bodies ruined by a single sweetness._

_~Pablo Neruda_


	5. Under Your Skin, the Moon is Alive

**Author's Note: **Thank you to all who have reviewed and pm'd me recently about _In My Sky at Twilight_. Feedback is like oxygen to us writers. It keeps us inspired and motivated. Especially since this is my first foray into OTH fan fiction, I appreciate your comments more than I can say. With the chapter you are about to read, we are only about a quarter of the way into this story, so buckle up and enjoy the rest of the ride. If there's a specific supporting character of whom you want to read more, have a scene or style suggestion or even a burning desire to know where it's all going, you know how to reach me. Thanks for reading!

The next morning, the island was awoken with new energy due the preparations for the Clothes Over Bros fashion show. Brooke had decided to launch her Spring Collection as a part of the wedding week festivities. Since bright and early that morning, several boats had been arriving carrying not only the tents, chairs, lights, sound equipment, flowers and a million other day's required accessories, but also the crew and models for the show itself. In less than six hours, the island would be hosting hundreds of guests including celebrities, fashion critiques, TV and magazine reporters...anyone and everyone who was worth knowing in the fashion world would descend upon Tree Hill. They would come for the clothes and for the show, but also to catch a glimpse of Brooke Davis in the arms of her soon-to-be-husband. When Brooke didn't show up to supervise the setting of the tents, Millie decided to check on her. The knocks on her door went unanswered, so she let herself into Brooke's room.

Millie: "Brooke? Are you here?"

Millie heard Brooke throwing up in the bathroom.

M: "Brooke, are you ok? Do you need help in there?"

B: "I'm all right. Give me a minute."

When Brooke came out of the bathroom, her friend reminded her that the crew was waiting for instructions downstairs, but if she wasn't feeling well, she could handle things herself.

B: "No, I'm fine. It's just nerves. There's too much to do before everyone gets here."

M: "Not to mention an ex-boyfriend showing up out of the blue wanting to whisk you away on your wedding day. No one can blame you for being nervous."

B: "You haven't told anyone about this, right? Not Mouth? Especially not Victoria?"

M: "My lips are sealed."

B: "Thank you."

M: "Brooke, can I ask what you're going to do?"

B: "I am going to take a moment, drink a glass of water, come downstairs and make sure everything is perfect for the show. I am not going to talk about, better yet, think about, anything else but the clothes today. This is too important and it needs all my attention."

M: "That's the spirit. I'd say take your time, but Victoria's already wreaking havoc down there."

B: "I'll be right down."

Millie gave a Brooke a hug.

M: "I'm here when you need back-up today...about anything."

B: "I know. Thank you."

After Millie left, Brooke took that moment, drank her glass of water, and as she planned, she went downstairs determined to focus on work and only work for the day. For the next few hours, with help from Victoria and Millie, she managed several crews setting up the tents in the gardens and laying the red carpet from the pier to the tents; she decided where the flowers would be placed and rearranged the seating charts. The rest of the afternoon, she was in full-designer mode, assigning clothes to specific models , co-ordinating the trial run-through, collaborating with the hairdressers and make-up artists, even putting thread to needle fixing an accidental tear here and there. She was so absorbed in the backstage work that Brooke didn't even realize it was already red carpet time. With flowers in hand, Julian was the one to remind her to put down the sewing kit and come face the cameras.

Coming out of the backstage tent, Julian and Brooke stepped onto the red carpet arm in arm. Brooke introduced her fiancé via the reporters' extended microphones in front of flashing cameras of ever-curious paparazzi. She saw her friends all dressed up heading to the second tent set up as an arrival cocktails lounge. Nathan and Haley were waiting for them, so Brooke wished the reporters a fun evening and asked for permission to join the party herself. Upon catching up with Nathan and Hayley, they were met with hugs and smiles. Nathan pulled Julian towards the bar inside leaving Hayley and Brooke alone.

Hayley: "Brooke, this is amazing. I can't believe you pulled this off, here in Tree Hill."

Brooke: "Well, we haven't pulled anything off yet. Keep your fingers crossed until the show is over."

H: "I have no doubt they will love the clothes. I do."

Hayley was wearing a floor-length, strapless, deep-red Brooke Davis original evening dress from the collection.

B: "And it looks stunning on you, as usual."

H: "Are you ok? Are you looking for someone?"

Hayley had noticed that Brooke's eyes had been searching the crowd every chance she got. Brooke was too pre-occupied with her search to respond.

H: "He isn't back yet."

B: "Who?"

H: "Lucas. That's who you're looking for, isn't it?"

B: "He's not coming?"

H: "He and Nathan took Jaime to River Court this morning. He didn't come back with them. Brooke, he'll be here. He knows how important this is to you. He won't miss it."

B: "Probably for the best."

H: "So, he's spoken to you about...his feelings?"

B: "You know?"

H: "Not much. He won't talk about it. But I do know he's not here to watch you get married. I'm sorry Brooke. This must be the last thing you need this week. I can talk to him...tell him to leave you alone."

Brooke remains silent, staring out into the ocean, looking at the next boat sailing towards the pier.

H: "Unless you don't want him to leave you alone. Brooke, do you have feelings for Lucas?"

B: "I have to go inside...make sure everything's ready backstage. I'll see you after?

H: "Brooke?"

B: "Hayley, I can't talk about this right now. I need to focus on the show. If I think about him right now, how I feel, what I want...I'm afraid I'm going to fall apart and I can't have that. Not today."

Hayley knew she had to let Brooke go. They were nowhere close to the end of that conversation, but it would have to wait until Brooke was ready to open up. As Brooke walked alone towards the backstage, Hayley saw Nathan wave her over to their seats in the front row.

One by one the guests took their seats, the lights dimmed, and the music picked up. As the sunset painted the sky a shade of red, Brooke watched the collection take off from backstage. She kept herself busy checking final fittings while her designs were making their presence known on the runway. In primarily solid colors, deep purple, dark blue, and silver, the collection highlighted dresses, skirts and jackets. The finale was in three parts, each with a different wedding dress, modelled by her friends, Mia, Millie, and Alex. When Mia took the stage, Brooke was too nervous to watch the reaction. She closed her eyes and blocked out all noise. That was when she felt his hand reach out to hold hers.

Lucas: "Open your eyes Brooke. No room for nerves. Believe in your talent."

Brooke opened her eyes to see that Millie was at the end of the runway playfully taking her garter off and throwing it over to Mouth in the audience. She smiled.

L: "That's it. Do you hear it? You're a hit, pretty girl."

Brooke heard applause, whistles, sound of one camera flash after another. She saw Alex in the final dress walking on the runway back towards her.

Alex: "Brooke, are you ready? They're calling for you."

As all her models lined up for one final walk to close out the show, Brooke looked back at Lucas. Alex grabbed Brooke's arm to lead her out on the runway but she didn't want to let go of his hand.

L: "I'm so proud of you. Go. This is your moment."

Brooke walked on the stage passing by the models to find a standing ovation waiting for her. When she looked ahead, she saw Julian. At the end of the runway looking back at her, he was applauding, telling her he loved her. As all the models exited leaving Brooke alone, Millie handed her a microphone.

Brooke: "Thank you. Thank you very much. This collection is very special to my heart. It's inspired by someone very dear to me. If you didn't know already, the wedding dress finale may have hinted at the fact that I am getting married this week. Stand up, fiancé!"

Julian stood up, took his bow, and blew a kiss to Brooke. Brooke saw Lucas in the back of the crowd and her eyes now locked on him, she continued her speech.

B: "Even for those of us for whom sometimes clothes do come over bros, finding someone to share your life with, a soulmate, is not unlike searching high and low for that perfect pair of jeans...or just the right wedding dress. If you're lucky enough to find such a connection, it's impossible to let go, to live without. If there's even one of you who felt that way about a piece you saw on the runway today, I'm a happy designer."

The audience responded with whistles and more applause, and Brooke thanked them in kind.

B: "All right, that's enough talking. The bar's open!"

While everyone slowly made their way outside for the after-party, Julian stayed behind to congratulate Brooke. Hugging her fiancé on stage, she could see Lucas watching them for a brief moment before he left. Taking Julian's hand, Brooke also made her way outside. They didn't have to walk too far to be met with their circle of friends holding champagne bottles. Among congratulatory toasts, bottles were popped and champagne flowed from glass to glass. Brooke felt herself being pulled by the arm away from the crowd. When she turned to see who it was, she saw her mother.

Victoria: "We have to talk."

B: "Mother, what are you doing?"

V: "The question is what are you doing?"

B: "As usual, I'm not following."

V: "Lucas."

B: "What about him?"

V: "I saw you."

B: "Saw me doing what?"

V: "Having a...moment? Backstage. Holding hands. What are you doing?"

B: "Nothing but celebrating our success. You should do the same."

V: "Brooke, please talk to me. Is there something going on between you two?"

B: "Mother, I don't want to talk about this. Not now, not here. Can't today be what it is? Nothing more? We have over a hundred guests out there partying because we worked so hard for months to create something great. Can't today be about the clothes, the company, and not about my love life?"

V: "Tomorrow then?"

Brooke's frustrated face was the only response she could muster up at that moment. Victoria downed the glass of champagne Brooke had left behind as she watched her daughter leave.

V: "I am proud of you."

For the next few hours, Brooke mingled among her guests, laughed with her friends, posed for the cameras, talked to reporters and danced with her fiancé. When things started to calm down late into the night, she finally took her first break. Walking away from the crowd through the back garden, she stopped by the cliffs over the water. Her hands holding onto the top of the fence, she noticed first the full moon in the sky, and then its reflection shimmering on the ocean. The wind blew her hair to the side, brushed her cheek and her shoulders. She closed her eyes and imagined that the wind was his touch...and with that one simple wish, she was back in New York, sitting face to face with him on that kitchen floor.

_Six weeks ago, Lucas's Apartment, New York City_

Lucas: "Brooke, you're bleeding. Let me see."

Brooke: "No, you stay back. I have to get out of here."

L: "Let me help you, get you a band-aid."

B: "No, it's just a superficial cut. You stay. I have to go."

A stoic Brooke stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Lucas hesitated for a moment, but got up and followed her out.

L: "Brooke, please. At least wait until you're dry. Brooke, stop."

Without looking back, Brooke was searching for her purse in the living room.

L: "What just happened..."

Brooke hastily cut him off.

B: "Nothing happened."

L: "You know that's not true."

B: "I'm not doing this with you."

Brooke turned around and started walking towards the door.

L: "Are you in love with him?"

The question stopped her but she couldn't answer.

L: "It's a simple question, Brooke."

She turned to face him but remained silent.

L: "Then you're not. People who don't know or can't say if they're in love, it's because they've never experienced it. Maybe they've seen it, read or heard about it. But, you and I, we've been there."

B: "What we had, I don't feel that for him. But it's not so black and white."

L: "That's not how you used to think."

B: "I was young and stupid."

L: "You were never stupid."

B: "But this is. You are married."

L: "Separated."

B: "I'm engaged. Let's both walk away before we do something even more stupid."

L: "Okay, you first."

Brooke just stood there looking at Lucas, not feeling anything, not even how heavy the wet clothes were on her. He took a step closer to her.

L: "Feels like the first time."

B: "The first time?"

Standing soaking wet in the middle of his apartment, without one thought to what came before or what would happen next, Lucas grabbed Brooke by her waist and kissed her with the same passion of their first kiss. He pulled back slowly to make sure she was okay, and leaned in again for a kiss with a tenderness that made her heart ache. Placing his forehead on hers, he took a deep breath.

L: "I want this. I want you."

And she kissed him back, revelling in the realization that it was right, it had always been right...no doubts, no questions...just right.

L: "Are you sure?"

Still facing him, Brooke locked her eyes on his and took a couple of steps back. She kicked off her shoes, removed her rings and necklace and slowly placed them on his coffee table. She took off her jacket and pulled her top up over her head. Unzipping her skirt, she let it fall to the floor next to her top and jacket. Standing in only her black, lace underwear, she walked close enough to touch him. She put her right hand on his face.

B: "Yes, I'm sure."

That was all Lucas needed to pick her up and carry her to his bedroom. When he put her down, she unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders with both hands. She let her fingers trace his collarbone, finally resting her hand on his heart. She could feel it beat...in sync with hers. At one fell swoop, he picked her up again, turned around and pinned her against the wall. Her legs wrapped around him, they continued to kiss until they both fell on the bed. Brooke and Lucas made love slowly that night...more than once, and with all the longing of the years apart and with all the passion that had never disappeared between them. When they fell asleep in each other's arms, there was nothing and no one in the world but the two of them, at that moment, in that place...and it felt more natural than anything either had ever done.

_It is not so much light that falls_

_over the world_

_extended by your body_

_its suffocating snow,_

_as brightness, pouring itself out of you, _

_as if you were_

_burning inside._

_Under your skin, the moon is alive._

_~Pablo Neruda_


	6. Your Mouth, Your Voice, Your Hair

Lucas saw Brooke everywhere that day. Since he woke up on the pier that morning, no matter how hard he tried and whether she was really there or not, all he could see was her. Respecting her wishes for space, especially on a day when it seemed like the entire world was watching Brooke Davis, he tried to keep his distance. He went for a run around the island to clear his head and ran into Nathan, Hayley and Jaime taking a walk. When he suggested the boys go over to River Court for a friendly game of 2-on-1, Jaime against the brothers of course, the father and son went to change, leaving him alone with Hayley.

Lucas: "So, where's the fourth musketeer today? How's my niece doing?"

Hayley: "Lydia's with the nanny upstairs. You know, only four months old, but she's already such a daddy's girl. You should see Nathan with her. I'm getting more jealous by the day."

L: "Come on, we all know nothing can take your place in Nathan's heart."

H: "I think I may finally have serious competition. I checked on you this morning, but you were out. In fact, it looked like your bed wasn't slept in last night."

L: "It's not what you think Hales. I slept outside, there on the pier."

H: "The pier? Why?"

L: "Easier to breathe. I felt suffocated in that room."

H: "You mean with Brooke across the hall with Julian."

L: "Actually, she couldn't sleep either."

H: "You saw her?"

L: "Only for a few minutes, before she slapped me and ran away."

H: "Sounds about right."

L: "Aren't you supposed to be on my side?"

H: "What exactly were you expecting Luke? You'd just show up right before her wedding, she'd fall into your arms and you two would ride into the sunset together?"

L: "Or some version of it that played much more romantic in my head."

H: "I love you and I want you to be happy. You know that, right? But this thing you're after...Luke, if you think it'll be that easy, you're delusional."

L: "You don't know everything."

H: "Then tell me. What don't I know?"

L: "I can't. But I want you to know that I'm not here on a whim. It's not some sudden, irrational desire to hold onto a fleeing possibility. This is my life Hales, and I want to live it with her."

H: "Does she want to live her life with you?"

L: "I know she does. Getting her to admit that...to talk to me for more than a minute, to really hear me...that's the real problem."

H: "Luke, please make sure you're not fighting a losing battle here. I know this is painful to hear, but someone has to tell you this. Julian is a great guy. I've seen first hand how much he protects her. He loves her...makes her happy. He's been here while you were...well, not. They are good together. Are you prepared to walk away alone if she doesn't choose you?"

At that moment, he didn't get a chance to respond when Nathan and Jaime interrupted them. But now, well into the late hours of Brooke's after-party, standing in the back garden watching Brooke alone at the cliffs...the wind brushing her hair away, he knew nothing could prepare him to walk away alone. That very day had proven how impossible it would be. He had tried to stay away. He had spent almost the entire afternoon playing basketball with Nathan and Jaime, stayed behind when they returned to the island, and even visited his old stomping grounds...the school, the cafe, his house. He saw her face everywhere he went. So, he had to come back. Without realizing how or what he was doing, he was already backstage holding Brooke's hand, telling her to embrace her success...watching her give her victory speech, hugging her fiancé on stage...toasting with champagne, dancing in someone else's arms...moving with grace all night, carrying the entire world in the palm of her hand. Seeing Brooke over the cliffs now, Hayley's question echoed loud in his mind.

"_Are you prepared to walk away alone if she doesn't choose you?"_

Lucas approached Brooke quietly, close enough to smell the jasmine in her hair. His right hand gently touched the back of her neck, traced down and rested on the small of her back. He took one more step forward until their bodies touched. Still standing behind her, he placed his hands on the fence...over hers, fingers interlocked. When she slowly placed her head on his chest, he saw that her eyes were closed. Leaving no doubt who she was dreaming about, Brooke whispered his name.

Brooke: "Lucas."

The moment would be cut too short for Lucas. The second Brooke realized she called his name out loud, she pulled herself not only out of the memories, but also away from his arms.

B: "You can't sneak up on me like that. What are you doing?"

L: "What I've wanted to do all day."

B: "People can see us out here."

L: "I don't care."

B: "I do. You have to stop this."

L: "Stop what? To want to be around you all the time? To touch you, kiss you, hold you? I can't, Brooke. It's like breathing. I just do it. You're a part of me. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. Neither do you."

B: "Don't tell me how I feel."

L: "I didn't. You did. You just called out my name."

Brooke just looked at him. She could neither move nor speak.

L: "You can't tell me you don't feel this. I'm a part of you too. It's who we are."

B: "I just spent the entire night dancing with my fiancé. That's who I am. I am getting married in a few days. This thing you're feeling right now...it's temporary. You will get over it. After all, you did it once. And life will be normal again."

L: "You won't outgrow me Brooke. You know that and I know that. You don't want a normal life. I don't want a normal life. I want a life with you."

B: "It's too late. You're too late. I don't believe you."

Lucas saw Brooke trying to hold back tears as she walked away.

L: "Don't walk away from us Brooke. Not again."

_Six weeks ago, Lucas's Apartment, New York City_

The morning sun shining through his window woke Lucas up. The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a naked Brooke sleeping next to him. He first thought it was a dream, a beautiful, familiar dream. Then, last night came back to him in pieces. It wasn't a dream. Smiling with the realization that she was really there, he watched her sleep for a while. He touched her shoulder with his hand and traced an imaginary line down her arm all the way to her fingertips. He saw a faint, brief smile across her lips.

Lucas: "Wake up, pretty girl."

He leaned in and gently kissed her left cheek and she opened her eyes. That perfect moment only lasted a second before Brooke sat up straight in haste.

Brooke: "No."

L: "Brooke?"

B: "This cannot be happening."

L: "What's wrong?"

B: "What's wrong? I'm naked for one. With you. Here, in this bed."

L: "Brooke, are you ok?"

Brooke got up with sheets wrapped around her and started looking for her clothes.

B: "Am I ok? He asks if I'm ok. What do you think? Do I look ok?"

L: "Are you mad at me?"

B: "Where are my clothes?"

Lucas picked up her underwear off the floor and handed them to her.

B: "Could you maybe put some pants on as well?"

L: "All right, I will if you calm down."

B: "Where are the rest of my clothes?"

L: "I'd check the living room floor if I were you."

Brooke found her skirt and top exactly where she took them off. While she hurried to get dressed, Lucas followed her to the living room wearing only his jeans.

L: "Brooke, stop. Please. Can we talk about what happened?"

B: "No. This never happened. I am going to walk out that door as soon as I get dressed. The moment that happens, we erase last night. We never speak of this."

L: "I can't do that. I can't forget last night. I don't want to. Nothing has felt this right for so long. Don't go."

B: "I can't stay here."

L: "Stay just a little while longer. One more day? Stay for breakfast? If you still want to go after that, I'll drive you to the airport myself. We have to talk about this."

B: "Talk about what? Your wife? My fiancé? How could I do this to Julian? I'm not a cheater. This isn't me. It was a mistake, but we can fix this."

L: "Mistake? Last night was amazing, beyond amazing. You and I, Brooke, we can't deny our connection."

B: "Connection? I hate that word. You are married to another woman and I am engaged to someone else. How exactly are we connected? Tell me Lucas, who were you kissing last night? Who were you making love to last night? I refuse to be a substitute for someone you can't have."

L: "How can you ask me that? Peyton and I are over. Our marriage is broken beyond repair."

B: "Well, my engagement isn't. At least it wasn't until I went and wrecked my life. Again."

Lucas began to feel the weight of Brooke's words as he sat down on the sofa.

L: "You regret it."

B: "Don't you?"

L: "No, not for one single second. You hate me."

Brooke saw in his eyes that he meant it. She sat down on the sofa next to him.

B: "No, I could never hate you. Listen to me. You didn't force me to do anything. I was here, in the moment, with you. I don't have anyone else to blame but myself."

L: "What do we do now?"

B: "We had a moment...old habits...we fell back into us."

L: "You want me to let you go."

B: "I want you to let last night be what it was, nothing more. I want you to let it remain in the past. I want you to let me walk out that door and into my future."

L: "Without me."

B: "You don't want me. You'll see. Tomorrow you'll wake up and you'll feel differently. You were lonely. I was weak. Let me walk away."

He wanted to lock the door and stand on her way. He wanted to tell her letting her go would be the mistake, not what they shared the night before. He wanted to beg her to take him along if she had to go. Against all instinct and his better judgment, he kept quiet. This was what Brooke wanted and after all he had put her through, he owed her this. So he let her walk away, and that's exactly what she did leaving him behind, alone, in an apartment now full of memories of her.

_Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach; _

_may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance. _

_Don't leave me for a second, my dearest, _

_because in that moment you'll have gone so far _

_I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking, _

_Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?_

_~Pablo Neruda_


	7. There Where the Waves Shatter

Brooke: "I'd say don't do what I wouldn't do, but it wouldn't necessarily be the best advice."  
Julian: "You don't have anything to worry about."

B: "I know. But you may want to check for body glitter residue on the flight back, just in case."

Brooke and Julian were in an embrace on the pier. He was about to take the morning's first boat to the mainland. After a short drive to the airport, he would be on his way to Las Vegas to meet college friends and his cousins for his bachelor party.

B: "Do you have to go?"

J: "I'll be back for the rehearsal, before the rest of our crazy families descend upon the island. That's only two days away...not even long enough for you to miss me."

B: "I already miss you."

J: "See that's why I told Jaime to keep an eye on you last night, to make sure you keep busy and behave."

B: "I'm being chaperoned by the kid?"

J: "Yeah, I am beginning to see the holes in that well-thought out plan."

Brooke put her arms over Julian's shoulders and her hands around his neck.

B: "Come back to me, preferably in one piece."

J: "Wait for me, preferably naked upon my arrival."

B: "Deal."

Julian gave her a goodbye kiss and jumped aboard the boat ready to leave. Brooke waived at her fiancé for a while until he was too far to see on the departing boat. When she watched him disappear from sight, she felt an all too familiar pain of fear hit her. Without Julian grounding her and reminding her what was at stake, she was afraid the temptation would be too much to bear alone. Staring into the horizon after him, she dropped her arms to her sides and exhaled the temptation out. Or she thought she did.

Lucas: "Hey."

B: "When are you going to stop following me?"

L: "Good morning to you too. I'm fine. Thank you for asking."

B: "I'm sorry. I'm just..."

L: "Having a bad morning? Was that Julian?"

B: "Yes. He's gone for a couple of days. Bachelor party. Vegas. What are you doing here?"

Lucas pointed towards an incoming yacht with a couple of people waiving from aboard.

L: "You're saying goodbye and I'm saying hello."

Brooke squinted and used her right hand to block out the sun.

B: "Is that...that's Karen!"

L: "Surprise."

B: "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

L: "Well you keep walking away from me every time I try to talk to you. I'm lucky if you don't slap me before you leave. It's kind of hard to get you to listen these days."

B: "Luke!"

L: "All right, all right. I only found that late last night. If it makes you feel better, no one else knows yet."

As the yacht approached the pier, Brooke saw Andy drop anchor and throw Lucas the rope to tie the yacht to the pier. When Karen and Lily walked out, she couldn't contain her excitement anymore. Running towards Karen, she was the first to welcome her back with a hug.

B: "I can't believe you're here. It's so great to see you."

Karen: "I wouldn't miss this for the world."

B: "Being the savvy world travellers you are, I wasn't even sure you got my invitation."

K: "When do I get to meet Julian?"

B: "You just missed him actually, but he'll be back in a couple of days."

After shaking hands with Andy and kissing his little sister who jumped in his arms the moment she saw him, Lucas turned his attention to Karen.

L: "Hi mom."

Brooke took Lily from Lucas so the mom and son could have their long awaited reunion.

K: "Lucas, have you lost weight?"

L: "Really? That's the first thing you tell me?"

Andy: "Worrying about whether your kid eats...you never stop being a parent."

B: "My god, Lily. You have grown so much. You were just a little baby when I saw you. And now look at you...officially an all-grown up heartbreaker. I guess it runs in the family."

Lily: "Hey Luke, can you take me to see Jaime?"

K: "She's been talking about him non-stop since we told her we were coming."

L: "Sure baby girl."

B: "Lily, would you like me to take you? This way your mom gets to hang out with your brother for a while. And you and I can come up with a brilliant plan to surprise Jaime. What do you say?"

Lily: "Mom, can aunt Brooke take me?"

K: "Sure honey, go."

A: "Hey, before you guys go, we had an idea on the way. What do say we take the yacht out for the day? Go explore islands, the bays? Have lunch on deck? We can have you back by sunset. Everyone's welcome."

Brooke and Lucas looked at each other and smiled in agreement.

B & L: "Great idea."

A: "Ok, I'll go get supplies and meet you back here in a couple of hours?"

B: "We can have everybody here on the pier by then."

K: "Sounds like a plan. So, son of mine, I think it's just you and me until then. How about you show me the island?"

L: "Is that code for I'm about to ask a lot of mom questions that you'll have to answer?"

K: "Yep, that's exactly what it means. Let's go."

B: "Come one Lily, time for us to scoot."

After saying goodbye to Andy, Karen and Lucas watched Lily and Brooke hold hands while walking away. They couldn't hear what the girls were talking about, but the laughter signalled they had no problems bonding. Arm in arm, Lucas and Karen walked towards the gardens.

K: "You look good. Better than last time I saw you."

L: "Except for the weight loss?"

K: "Well, you're my son. I notice these things."

L: "If you would maybe settle down, say somewhere in the Northeast, you wouldn't have to notice these things when you see me only every few months."

K: "Actually, we are. Well, not in New York, but we are leaving the life at sea behind."

L: "Here, in Tree Hill?"

K: "It's time. Lily's starting school this year. And, I thought my first kid turned out pretty well growing up here, so why not the second?"

L: "Lily must be ecstatic being so close to Jaime full time."

K: "She's more excited than me and Andy combined."

L: "Andy's ok with this?"

K: "It was his idea actually. That's partially why we came back. Seeing the house this morning confirmed that we made the right decision."

L: "You're going to live in our old house?"

K: "Yes. Is that ok?"

L: "Mom, that's your house. It never belonged to anyone else, and now it never has to miss you again."

K: "You know we'll have to change some of the rooms...I imagine Lily's walls having posters of whatever boy band is in season and a little less pink than Sawyer's nursery."

L: "I guess in some strange way, it was always meant to be Lily's room. Everyone else conceded the throne the day she was born."

Lucas led Karen to a bench in the gardens surrounded by rose bushes. They sat down silently watching the waves crash for a while.

K: "You know it was Sawyer who told me you were here."

L: "She said you called."

K: "How are things with Sawyer? How's she handling the situation?"

L: "And now we enter the mom-questions-you-have-to-answer portion of our programming."

K: "Don't say you weren't warned. I worry about you Lucas. And, I worry about my granddaughter too. I want to know what's going on in your lives, so I can help you. Have you even told any of your friends about the separation?"

L: "Yes, actually. Hayley knows. And, Brooke."

K: "Ok, that's something. Last time we spoke you said you weren't coming to the wedding. What changed?"

L: "I did."

K: "What do you mean?"  
L: "I woke up, mom. Someone woke me up. I decided to change my life, to stop trying to do what everyone else thinks is the right thing."

K: "What's wrong with being selfless?"

L: "It got me to this point...where everything's wrong. It's time I go after what I want."

K: "And what is it you want?"

L: "I filed for divorce three weeks ago."

K: "Lucas, are you sure about this?"

L: "I've never been more sure about anything. It's the right thing to do...for me, for Peyton, and for Sawyer. Two happy homes are better than one unhappy one."

Karen could see the resolve in her son's eyes, the determination in his words, and the belief in his soul that he was following the only path that made sense for him.

K: "Ok. I will support you any way I can."

L: "I know this isn't the easiest thing for you either. You stood up for me and helped me build a marriage, a life, a family. And I thank you for that. Now you have to watch all that disappear. This is a brand new chapter and I don't know yet what it'll say. But I know that I'm going to need you to stand up for me again, help me build a new life."

K: "I can do that."

L: "Thanks mom."

K: "So, this new chapter...how does it begin?"

L: "With Brooke."

K: "Brooke."

L: "You're not surprised."

K: "Should I be?"

L: "You have always known me better than I've known myself."

K: "Not always."

L: "Mom, I need her in my life. I don't know how to explain it."

K: "You don't have to explain it to me. Are you sure it's not too soon after Peyton?"

L: "How can years in the making be too soon? Peyton and I have been over for months. This isn't some schoolboy crush. Brooke and I have history...we didn't exactly meet weeks ago."

K: "Have you told her how you feel?"

L: "I've been trying, but nothing I say is getting through."

K: "Well, your timing leaves a lot to be desired."

L: "That's just it. It is the right time...for us. It's our moment. I just know it. I wish I had figured this out long ago. We lost time. We didn't lose love."

K: "Lucas, be careful. What you want will only happen if both of you feel the same way. I'm not saying don't fight for her. I just don't want you to lose her from your life. If she's not responding, there's so much you can do or say until you end up pushing her away for good. Make sure you know where that line is. Sometimes you have to retreat and let people come to you."

L: "Were you always this smart?"

K: "Why do children only really listen to their parents when they become parents themselves?"

L: "I guess it's never too late to start."

K: "You're going to be ok."

L: "How do you know?"

K: "I know you. I raised you. You have no other choice."

L: "Come on. Hayley's going to want to see you."

K: "I can't wait to meet Lydia. Does she look like Hayley or Nathan?"

L: "Well, let's just say she got the best of both."

K: "Good answer. I did teach you well, didn't I?"

When they started walking back towards the house, Lucas put his arm around her mom and Karen rested her head on her son's shoulder. When they reached the front door, they were met with a very excited and on-a-mission pair of kids, Jaime and Lily, closely followed by Nathan and Hayley. One by one, everyone else came down on Jaime's orders. While Hayley and Karen had their reunion hug and talk outside, Jaime and Lily instructed the group on how to set up the bonfire on the beach for later that night. Claiming that Julian had left him in charge, Jaime insisted everyone follow his instructions and stick to his drawings. For the following hour, the group entertained Jaime's request, taking refuge in frequent coffee and bagel breaks. By the time Andy was back, the beach was ready for that night's party and the group was all ready on the pier waiting to board the yacht.

For the next several hours until the sunset, they sailed from bay to bay, dropping anchor frequently to swim in the blue waters. Grilled fish and salad was served for lunch on deck. Andy and Chase mixed the drinks, Mia volunteered for DJ duties, Alex and Millie started the dancing, and Hayley and Karen brought out the board games. Lucas took his mom's advice and tried the retreat method...he gave Brooke space. He caught himself watching her more than once...she was swimming or sunbathing alone, laughing with Mouth, playing board games with Jaime and Lily...in deep thoughts staring out into the ocean. He never approached her that afternoon. In fact, he left her alone, and didn't talk to her once...until Jaime called him over to join him and Brooke on the deck. With a nervous and worried look, Jaime pointed at a spot on the side of the deck.

Jaime: "Lily wants me to jump off there with her."

Brooke: "And you don't want to?"

J: "She says she does it all the time. She called me a coward."

Lucas: "Lily practically lives in the ocean, buddy. She swims like a fish. There's probably not one spot on this boat she hasn't jumped off from. You don't have to do it, if you don't want to."

B: "Jaime, it's ok to be scared."

J: "Have you ever had a girl make you want to do something crazy...things you didn't think you could do or should do?"

Lucas looked at Brooke and she looked back at him.

J: "I kind of can't say no to her. I don't want to. You know?"

L: "I know buddy. I know exactly what you mean."

J: "She says if I hold her hand while we jump, she'll make sure I'll be ok."

B: "Do you trust her?"

J: "Yes, I do."

L: "What if I jumped with you? Will you do it then?"

J: "Will you come too, Brooke?"

B: "Sure. I'll jump anywhere with you Jaime."

While Jaime went to go get Lily, Brooke and Lucas couldn't help but laugh at him almost hop over to deliver the good news.

L: "I knew a girl once...she got me drunk, tattooed, and grounded all in one day."

B: "And all she had to do in return was to pretend to read a book."

L: "What was that about not being able to say no?"

B: "That you didn't want to."

L: "You ready to jump?"

B: "I was born ready, Lucas Scott. You?"

L: "Do you promise I'll be ok?"

B: "I promise."

Holding Jaime and Lily's hands placed in between them, Lucas and Brooke counted down from three. With wide smiles and locked eyes, they jumped into the cool water. And when the foursome resurfaced, it was nothing but applause from the audience on deck and laughter from the kids wanting to do it again and again. Back on the yacht and wrapped in her towel, Brooke noticed the sun begin to set over the horizon and slowly turn the sky red. She could hear Nathan tell Lydia, who was perfectly happy in Hayley's arms, how brave her big brother was. She watched Lucas hold Lily and Jaime's hands as they jumped off one more time, as he played with them in the water and as he jokingly helped them dry off back on deck. She remembered Julian sitting down with Jaime in the kitchen the previous night, sharing hot chocolate, explaining how to set up the bonfire and helping draft his drawings. Brooke had grown up with minimal, if any, parental influence. Victoria had come back into her life when she first started her company in New York years ago. By no account, their relationship was an example of an ideal mother-daughter bond. Her father had been missing in action for as long as she could remember. She wasn't even sure if he was coming to the wedding. But, Lucas and Julian...if there was an ideal father figure, a parental role model, out there anywhere in the world, it couldn't get any better than those two.

She had thought the very same thing that afternoon three weeks ago in her doctor's office. After years of unsuccessful attempts; after second, third, fourth opinions declaring that a miracle just wasn't in the cards for her; after having being forced to give up on the one dream she had struggled forever to let go...Brooke Davis was pregnant.

She looked down to her hand placed on her stomach and wondered if she was doing the right thing by keeping this secret from everyone, but especially from the two men whose lives she could change forever by only a few words.

Brooke: "Hey kid. What do you think? Is he ready for this? Is it time to meet your father?"

_You & I, love, together we ratify the silence,_

_while the sea destroys its perpetual statues,_

_collapses its towers of wild speed and whiteness:_

_because in the weavings of those invisible fabrics,_

_galloping water, incessant sand,_

_we make the only permanent tenderness. _

_~Pablo Neruda_


	8. Clenched Soul

As the evening sky turned dark, the yacht returned to the island shores. Andy and Karen said their goodbyes and sailed back to the mainland, leaving Lily behind. Not wanting to part with her nephew who also happened to be her best friend, Lily had asked to spend the night on the island with Jaime. The group saw that the staff at the property had already lit the bonfires and served dinner on the picnic tables they had set up earlier that day. As usual, drinks flowed and probably too much food was consumed. The stories from the day's adventures led to more than a few re-enactments and lots of laughter. The only pause came when the group was startled by the voice of a man they couldn't see begin playing the guitar and dedicate his song to the bride.

"This song's for the one and only Brooke Davis. Who am I kidding? It's for all you girls."

Hayley: "Is that...?"

Brooke: "No. It can't be."

_~~~  
Man singing: "Starting now I'll never see my kitchen counter quite the same babe, after we drank the final hour."  
~~~_

Lucas and Nathan both stood up in anger. Hayley and Brooke looked at each other in disbelief.

Hayley & Brooke: "Chris? Chris Keller?"

_~~~  
Man singing: "I never knew you had it somewhere deep inside you, another chance to go wild."  
~~~_

Lucas: "Why the hell is he here?"

Nathan: "Idiot has a death wish."

_~~~  
Man singing: "Don't you worry who you're kissing on at midnight. The way I see it I've got you and I both covered."  
~~~_

When they saw Lucas and Nathan start walking towards the sound, Brooke and Hayley both got up to restrain them.

Brooke: "Let Hayley and I handle this."

Hayley: "Nathan, please."

Nathan: "Just make him stop or I will."

Just then Chris Keller walked close enough to reveal himself.

Alex: "Who's the hottie?"

Mouth: "Bad news. No, more like poison."

_~~~  
Chris Keller singing: "The world's gone to bed, and you and I instead will secretly enjoy our time. So kiss on me tonight."  
~~~_

Brooke grabbed his guitar away before he could finish his song.

Brooke: "In your dreams, Keller."

Hayley: "What are you doing here?"

Chris: "Tone down the excitement ladies. The boys are jealous of how happy you are to see me."

B: "This is private property and you are trespassing."

C: "So, I take it my invitation was not lost in the mail?"

H: "Why are you here?"

C: "Well, I heard it through the grapevine that my favourite ex was getting married, no offense Hayley, and it's not a real wedding without Chris Keller."

Lucas couldn't restrain himself anymore and punched Chris on the face sending him straight down onto the sand. If he hadn't, Nathan's fist was ready and willing. As Brooke dragged away Lucas who was shaking his hurt hand, Hayley helped an apologetic Chris up.

C: "Ok, I deserved that. But could we try to get along for the sake of the happy occasion?"

Nathan: "We were doing just fine before you got here."

C: "All right, listen. I get it. You're not my biggest fans."

Alex: "Well, I haven't decided yet."

C: "Ok, except for maybe one, you don't like me very much."

L: "Try can't stand you."

B: "Chris, what do you want?"

C: "Nothing. Just to wish you well."

N: "That's it?"

C: "Yep, no ulterior motive. Just an old friend, well, frenemy, saying congratulations."

H: "And, you just happen to be in town?"

C: "Not exactly. But I couldn't pass up the opportunity. What do say? Can Chris Keller stay? Pretty please? Just for the night? The last boat has already left the pier. I am sort of stuck here."

L: "You planned it that way."

C: "Maybe. Maybe not. You can't deny things got a lot more fun when I showed up."

B: "You can stay."

L: "Brooke!"

B: "Listen, he's right. Unless we get Andy to come and get him, he's stuck here tonight. But that's it. Tomorrow, you crawl back under whatever rock you came from. Is that clear?"

C: "Crystal. Now, can I get my guitar back?"

Mia: "No, I call dibs."

As the gang reluctantly made room for Chris at the dinner table, Brooke asked Lucas to take a walk with her to cool his head. When he tried to apologize, she simply told him to shut up and walk it off. As they walked away from the group, they could hear Mia start playing a familiar melody.

_~~~  
Mia singing: "It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
__But I'm doing it.  
__It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone.  
__Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret  
__But I know if I could do it over  
__I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
__That I left unspoken."  
~~~_

Turning quietly to face the ocean, Brooke stopped by the bonfire. Lucas couldn't help but remember a night years ago exactly like this one. She had been wearing a similar yellow top that night too...pushing him away then just like she had done since she saw him in the wine cellar. That night, he had been able to find the courage to walk up to her.

"_One of these nights, you're going to realize it. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis. You'll see."_

Was it somehow easier to find the right words then? Years later, Lucas knew he had been right from the start. He was the guy for her. He hadn't always seen or believed it. But, she had always been the girl for him. Listening to Mia sing, he thought maybe the words he was struggling to find were already written.

_~~~  
Mia singing: "What hurts the most was being so close  
__And having so much to say, and watching you walk away  
__And never knowing what could've been  
__And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do"  
~~~_

Brooke: "How's your hand?"

Lucas: "I'll survive."

B: "You know that was stupid, right?"

L: "Especially in front of the kids. That guy just boils my blood every time."

B: "I know. He'll be gone tomorrow. Can you pretend to be an adult until then?"

L: "I promise to head in the opposite direction when I see him. How's that?"

B: "Good enough for now."

L: "How I felt when I saw him here...that's not how you feel about me being here, is it?"

B: "Lucas, no. I am glad you're here. You're a part of this group. You belong here. I just don't understand something."

L: "What?"

B: "We agreed. In New York, we agreed to let what happened remain in the past. It's like this version of you is not the same person who let me walk away that morning. I don't understand. Why?"

L: "Because I regretted letting you walk away the second you left. Because I ran after you so I could tell you to stop. Because I was too late to catch you then. And most of all, I'm here because you came back. Why did you come back Brooke?"

_****  
Three Weeks Ago, New York City_

Brooke had only found out that morning that she was pregnant. As deliriously happy as she was, she was also shell-shocked and scared. She walked for several blocks before she found herself in a taxi telling the driver to take her to the airport. There was no questioning , no doubting, and certainly no second-guessing her body, her mind, her heart...they were all taking her back to New York. She had to tell Lucas. She was outside his apartment building now. His doorman had told her he had been out all day, but that he usually came back around that time. He had kindly offered her a seat in the lounge, but she couldn't sit...she couldn't even stand still. She was pacing back and forth outside, waiting for him to come home. A million different scenarios flew around in her mind. How would she tell him? What would he say? Would he be happy? What came next? Then she thought of Julian...of telling him, how he would react. How did she always manage to weave these complex webs...one more impossible to untangle than the next? She had to sort this one out. She would start with Lucas. Nothing else mattered anymore...nothing, but to love, cherish, and protect this new life inside her. Both Lucas and Julian would have to understand that.

That was when she saw them...Lucas, Peyton and Sawyer...together, holding hands, talking, laughing, making plans. She quickly hid behind a tree so they wouldn't see her. There in the harsh light of day was her answer. This was where Lucas belonged...to his daughter, to his wife, to the perfect, little family he had always wanted. She saw him stop for a second, kneel down to tie his daughter's shoes, give her a kiss on the head, and taking back her hand in his, continue walking. In those few seconds, in that simple act of fatherly love, Brooke saw that Lucas's world was full and his heart...well, it was taken. It was that realization at that moment in New York that made her decide to leave and never look back. She didn't need Lucas to give this baby the best life she could. She and Julian would provide this child with a happy home and more love than any two parents could ever have. So, Brooke left unseen and went back to Tree Hill. Or she thought she did until that night by the bonfire.

_****  
Present Day, Bonfire Party on the Beach, Tree Hill Island_

Lucas: "Why did you come back Brooke?"

Brooke couldn't believe that Lucas could be referring to her trip to New York three weeks ago. She had made sure they didn't see her then. She refused to admit she went back.

B: "I didn't."

L: "Yes, you did. You were there three weeks ago."

B: "No I wasn't. What are you talking about?"

L: "My doorman saw you...he said I had just missed a petite brunette with a beautiful smile. It had to be you."

B: "It wasn't me."

L: "When I went outside, I thought I saw you get in a cab. I ran after you, but it drove away too fast. Why didn't you wait?"

B: "Because I saw you, ok? I saw you with Peyton and Sawyer, in the middle of this perfect family moment."

L: "What you saw were two parents trying to find a way to co-exist so they can bring up a happy, healthy child. What you didn't see was Peyton's boyfriend coming to pick them up to go home together. What you didn't see was me saying goodbye and going into my building alone. If you had stayed for one more minute, you would have seen me run out after you. If you had waited, you would have been with me while I went up to my apartment and called my lawyer to file for divorce."

Shocked at what she was hearing, Brooke was in denial. What she had seen that day was exactly the opposite of what Lucas was describing.

B: "You filed for divorce?"

L: "The day you came back."

B: "Why?"

L: "Because you came back. Why did you come back, Brooke?"

B: "I had to tell you something."

L: "What?"

A part of her wanted to tell him right then and there. She was pregnant. But, what would that achieve now? More chaos in everyone's lives, especially her baby's? Her hesitation was only brief. She looked away from him so he wouldn't see her crying.

B: "It doesn't matter now."

L: "It matters to me."

Brooke wiped away her tears, composed herself and turned to face him.

B: "I came to tell you I wanted to be friends again. I came to tell you I wanted to forget what happened and go back to basics. We started as friends, we can be friends again."

L: "If you stop lying to yourself for one second, you'll have to admit that we were never just friends."

B: "Then, I guess there's nothing left for us to say."

Brooke started to walk away.

L: "Brooke, wait. I have something of yours."

Lucas took out something from his pocket and held it out for her in his palm. When Brooke took a step closer, she saw the engagement ring Julian had given her shine in the light from the bonfire.

L: "You left it that morning, in my apartment. You took everything else, but left this. And you never came back for it...never asked for it back. Why is that Brooke?"

Brooke hastily took the ring from Lucas's hand.

B: "You're reading too much into this. I just didn't know where I lost it, so Julian replaced it with a new one, a better one."

Brooke held up her hand showing Lucas the new ring.

L: "You didn't lose it. You knew exactly where you left it, where you meant to leave it...with me."

B: "Lucas, please."

L: "Why did you come to New York in the first place? And don't say because you wanted to see Peyton or because you wanted to find out if we were coming to the wedding. You and I both know you came to see me. You had to see me, maybe one last time, before committing your life to someone else."

B: "God, the ego on you."

L: "It's the truth. Think, Brooke. Were you looking for closure? Did you find it? Or did you come because you wanted me to change your mind? You told me once you wanted me to fight for you. I'm here to fight for you."

B: "That was a lifetime ago."

L: "You're wrong. We're not done with that life Brooke, because for you and me...it's unfinished. When you came to New York, you rescued me. I'm here to rescue you back."

B: "Rescue me? For how long, Luke? Until Peyton wants you back? Until you decide your place is with your daughter and her mother? Until whatever you happen to feel for me now fizzles out and you decide I'm not the one for you? You and I...we lived that story before, more than once. Bloodshed, excruciating pain, cruel fights, and broken hearts. We failed miserably then. How am I supposed to trust that we could make it work now?"

L: "You just are. Like I am. I trust in us. That's how I know. We're not teenagers anymore, Brooke. Yes, we made mistakes. I made mistakes...wrong turns, bad choices. Peyton and I...she's my past. Yes, she is always going to be in my life. She's Sawyer's mother. Someone smart told me once, years ago, that people that are meant to be together, always find their way in the end. You and I, Brooke, we're meant to be together."

B: "How do you know?"

L: "When you imagine your future, what do you see? Close your eyes. Come on, close them."

Brooke hesitantly closed her eyes.

L: "Now and tomorrow...it's you holding my hand, and it's me smiling back at you. And in the end...it's you dancing in my arms. Do you see it?"

Brooke was silent for what felt like an eternity to Lucas...until he saw her face soften.

B: "I see us."

L: "I see us, too."

B: "But then, I open my eyes."

Lucas reached out and grabbed Brooke's hand.

L: "It's ok. Open them. Look. It's still you holding my hand and it's still me smiling back at you."

Brooke dropped Lucas's hand and took a step back.

B: "I can't. It's not just you and me anymore. There's so much more to consider. There's someone else more important. My life is about making the right choices for that person from now on. And the right choice is Julian. I'm sorry Lucas. That future we see, it's just a pleasant dream. It's time to wake up."

As Lucas watched Brooke walk away from him, he thought Hayley had been right. Brooke was choosing someone else. Lucas couldn't have known that the someone else Brooke thought more important, the person her life was about now, was not Julian, but her child.

_We have lost even this twilight.  
__No one saw us this evening hand in hand  
__while the blue night dropped on the world.  
__I have seen from my window  
__the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.  
__Sometimes a piece of sun  
__burned like a coin in my hand.  
__I remembered you with my soul clenched  
__in that sadness of mine that you know.  
__Where were you then?  
__Who else was there?  
__Saying what?  
__Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly  
__when I am sad and feel you are far away?  
__The book fell that always closed at twilight  
__and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.  
__Always, always you recede through the evenings  
__toward the twilight erasing statues.  
__~Pablo Neruda_

**Author's Note:** In this chapter, Chris Keller sings the Tyler Hilton original _Kiss on Me _from 2004. Mia covers _What Hurts the Most_, which was originally recorded by Mark Willis in 2003, but is possibly more widely known as the 2006 version by Rascal Flatts.


	9. What's Wrong With Us?

It was almost 2am. Brooke was lying in her bed, alone, replaying in her mind Lucas's words from earlier that night.

"_I'm here to fight for you."  
_"_You and I, Brooke, we're meant to be together."  
_"_And in the end, it's you dancing in my arms. Do you see it?"_

She had told him it was just a dream and that they both had to wake up. So, why now, despite being wide awake, she still heard him, saw him, felt him? She had to do something, anything, to get her mind off this so-called dream. Kicking off the covers, she got up and put her shoes on. Taking the stairs down to the first floor, she heard noise coming from the kitchen. She would instantly regret checking it out.

Brooke: "My eyes, my eyes!"

Half naked, Chris and Alex were making out on the kitchen counter.

Chris: "Oh, hi lover."

B: "Do not call me that."

C: "Did you want to join us?"

B: "You're like this horrible rash that won't go away."

C: "That's funny, because that's exactly how I think of you."

B: "Well, I hope you don't think of me too often. I'd hate for you to waste your time. Just go away, will you? Preferably to a planet in a different galaxy."

Alex: "Come on Brooke, don't tell me you and Julian are the strictly-bedroom kind."

Brooke just stood there, hands on her hips, sporting possibly the scariest death stare Alex had ever seen from her.

A: "Ok, ok. We'll go. Come on, Keller. The bride is turning into a prude in her old age."

Being dragged upstairs by Alex, Chris blew a kiss at Brooke.

B: "Oh and Alex? Be careful, you never know what you might catch from him."

While walking towards the fridge, Brooke was talking to herself.

B: "If only I can remember why I invited her to begin with."

Without even thinking, she instinctively went for the ice cream in the freezer. Remembering what she had just seen take place on the counter, she chose to sit down at the kitchen table instead. She was only a couple of spoonfuls into her late night craving, when Hayley entered the kitchen.

Hayley: "Hey."

Brooke: "Hey. What are you doing up so late?"

H: "Just thirsty. You?"

B: "Hungry."

Seeing Hayley go for the pitcher of water on the counter, Brooke had to warn her friend.

B: "You don't want to touch the counter. Keller germs."

H: "Ew. Thanks for the visual. Who in their right mind would...?

Hayley didn't have to finish that question.

H: "Alex. Of course."

B: "Did you really have to ask?"

H: "Is that cherry garcia?"

B: "Bring back a spoon with you."

Hayley did exactly that and sat across from Brooke sharing the pint of ice cream.

H: "You know this brings back memories."

B: "Yeah?"

H: "When I was pregnant with Lydia, I'd be up late at night craving pickled onions like a mad woman. Since she's been born, I can't stand even the sight of anything pickled. With Jaime, it was a pint of ice cream, just like this, almost every night. Poor Nathan, everywhere we'd go, he had to know where the closest place we could get rocky road was."

Brooke noticed that Hayley had stopped eating. She had put her spoon down and was now looking at her with curiosity.

B: "What?"

H: "Could you be...Brooke, are you pregnant?"

Brooke couldn't lie. Not to Hayley. Not when the truth would be obvious in just a few weeks anyway.

B: "Yes."

H: "Oh my God!"

Hayley almost jumped up from her seat and practically ran around the table to Brooke. She gave her friend a hug and sat next to her.

H: "Congratulations. You and Julian are going to be amazing parents. He must be over the moon."

B: "He doesn't know yet. I haven't told him."

H: "Why?"

B: "It's complicated."

H: "Ok. Do you want to talk about it?"

B: "Not really. Not yet anyway. Can we keep this between us for now?"

H: "All right. I won't say anything. But, Brooke, this is great news, the best really. Julian, Victoria, everyone will be so happy for you. Just like I am. Don't wait too long, ok?"

B: "I won't. I just have to figure something out first."

H: "And, if you want to talk, I'm here."

B: "Thank you."

Hayley got up to leave but not before planting a goodnight kiss on Brooke's cheek. Before she took the stairs up, she looked back at Brooke one last time.

H: "If you want Lucas to leave you alone, consider telling him. If he knew you were pregnant, maybe he'd finally see you've moved on."

Brooke thought if only Hayley knew the whole story, she would realize the error in her advice. Lucas finding out about this baby would have exactly the opposite effect. Earlier that night, by the bonfire, Brooke believed that she had finally gotten through to Lucas. She had made it clear that her choice was Julian. She hoped that he had heard her, that it had sunk in, that he had understood he had to stop.

And he had. Her words practically brought Lucas down to his knees by the bonfire. Watching Brooke walk away from him again, he felt his body freeze and let it fall on the sand. He just sat there, motionless, watching the waves crash and replaying her words in his mind over and over again.

"_The right choice is Julian."_

When he didn't return to the group for a long time, Nathan came to check on him. Sitting next to him, Nathan could see that his brother was in trouble.

Nathan: "Hey man."

Lucas didn't respond. Nathan wasn't even sure if he had heard him or even noticed he was there.

N: "You ok? You've been sitting here alone for over an hour."

L: "I'm fine. I just needed to think."

N: "I know about Peyton, the separation."

L: "Hayley."

N: "Well, you don't ask a wife to keep a secret from her husband. Do you want to talk about it?"

L: "Not really."

Nathan and Lucas sat side by side for a few minutes, silent, both watching the bonfire flames burn the remaining few logs.

L: "We're getting a divorce."

N: "I'm sorry Luke. Sometimes things don't turn out the way we plan."

L: "And sometimes they do. You and Hayley, for instance."

N: "We had our share of ups and downs. You know that maybe better than anyone."

L: "How did you know not to give up?"

N: "Are we talking about Peyton or Brooke?"

L: "Hayley tells you everything, doesn't she?"

N: "She didn't have to tell me this one. It's written all over your face. If I was stupid enough to miss it, tonight would have clued me in. I mean, we all saw you two out here."

L: "You could hear us back there?"

N: "No, but I didn't have to. What are you doing to Brooke?"

L: "Nothing. Not anymore. She made it clear she wants to be with Julian. I just need to figure out a way to respect her wishes."

N: "I'm sorry man."

L: "You and Hayley...do you know how incredibly lucky you are? What if that kind of happiness is not in the cards for me?"

N: "I don't believe that. You'll find it too. It might be hard to believe that right now, but you're going to be ok. You know what might help?"

L: "What?"

N: "Decking Keller one more time. Come on, come back."

L: "Not that I'm not tempted, but I promised Brooke I'd stay away from that guy."

N: "Come back anyway."

L: "Nathan, I appreciate what you're trying to do. I really do. Thank you. But, I think I'm going to take a walk, clear my head."

N: "Ok. You know where to find me."

After Nathan left, Lucas walked for hours, which to him felt only like minutes. He came across a shed in the back gardens and his curiosity took over. The shed was filled with old film equipment. He unpacked a few boxes and found a projector and several canisters storing primarily black and white movies, some even silent Chaplin films. He grabbed the box with the projector and carried it outside. That was when he saw Brooke walking in the gardens. He put the box down and watched her slowly approach him.

Brooke: "Hey."

Lucas: "Hi."

B: "I couldn't sleep so I was just taking a walk. I should go back inside."

Brooke walked past by him and headed back towards the house.

L: "Brooke, don't go. Can I talk to you for a second?"

Brooke turned around to face him, but she kept her distance.

B: "Lucas, it's late. I'm tired. And, I already said all I had to say."

L: "I want to apologize. You've been telling me to leave you alone for a while now and I refused to hear you. I want to you know I finally heard you tonight. You made your choice. I don't like it, but I have to accept it."

B: "Can you?"

L: "I honestly don't know, but I'm going to try because you've asked me to. I've been unfair to you. How I feel about you... it's my problem. Not yours. I have to deal with it. I won't bother you again."

Brooke took a few steps towards him. Standing only a few feet away, she was close enough to see his eyes agreed with his words, but she still couldn't believe it.

B: "So, you're giving up?"

L: "Isn't that what you want me to do? What you've asked me to do over and over since that night in New York? I believe we belong together. But, I can't make you believe it any more than I can force you to want me back. I thought I knew what was in your heart. Apparently, I was wrong. But I also can't stand by while you make what I think may be the biggest mistake of your life."

B: "What does that mean?"

L: "I'm leaving. I promised Jaime and Lily that I would hang out with them tomorrow, but I'll leave the next day."

It hit her. Lucas was leaving. He would be out of her life, for good. He was right. For weeks, that was exactly what she had asked him to do. Now that he was agreeing to her request, why did she want to hold onto him for dear life?

B: "You won't stay for the wedding."

L: "No, Brooke. I won't stand in your way, but I also won't watch you marry someone else."

B: "What will you do? Where will you go?"

L: "Back to New York. Eventually. Andy and mom are moving back into our old home, so they agreed to lend me the yacht for a few weeks. I'm going to sail up the coast to New York. You know, I've heard that solitude and clean air can be therapeutic."

B: "Maybe you'll try writing again."

L: "Maybe."

B: "You know I want the best of everything for you, right?"

L: "And I for you. Always."

Brooke could neither move nor look away...she was afraid she'd blink and he would disappear. He took a step forward, closing in the distance between them. He hugged her tight...her hands around his neck, his on her back. Neither wanting to let go of the other, they both wished they could freeze time. Lucas closed his eyes and whispered in her ear.

L: "Be happy, Brooke. Be very happy."

Her hands slowly came down from around his neck to his shoulders, and finally rested on his arms. He was still holding her waist with both hands. Their faces a few inches apart, she looked into his eyes.

B: "Why does this feel like a goodbye?"

L: "It's not. You and I...we can't say goodbye."

Brooke let her arms fall down and took a step back. Lucas stood there just looking at her. She wasn't ready to walk away yet. She smiled and pointed to the box he had been carrying when she first saw him.

B: "What's in the box?"

L: "A projector. I found it in the shed. There's a ton of film canisters in there too. I thought I'd set it up for Jaime and Lily for tomorrow."

B: "They'd like that. Do you want some help?"

L: "Sure. How about helping me go through the canisters? Maybe you can find a movie they might like."

While Lucas set up the projector against the white wall of the shed, Brooke brought out a few boxes full of canisters and started going through them. Not knowing what to say next, they were both quiet. She knew that in a few minutes they would be finished, and this time, she would be the one watching him walk away. She set aside a few movies she thought the kids might enjoy... ET, Sound of Music, and even Singing in the Rain. She came across a film she didn't recognize.

B: "I've never seen this one."

L: "What is it?"

B: "The label says The Philadelphia Story."

L: "Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn."

B: "How do you know?"

L: "It's a classic. I think from the '40s. Would you like to?"

B: "Now?"

L: "Why not? It'll be a test run for tomorrow."

Lucas set up the film in the projector and Brooke laid down on the grass a blanket she had around her shoulders. When the movie began, they sat down, side by side. Brooke got nervous when she realized the plot of the movie felt too real. A still-in-love Dexter, played by Cary Grant, was attending the wedding of his ex-wife Tracy, played by Katherine Hepburn. She looked at Lucas and he looked back at her...erasing the awkwardness away, they both laughed. The movie wasn't even half way over, when Brooke fell asleep. Somewhere along the way, she had rested her head on his shoulder. Lucas picked her up, and carried her inside the house. Upstairs in her bedroom, he put her down on the bed and inside the covers. Kneeling down by the bed, he watched her sleep for a moment and gave her one final kiss on the cheek.

L: "Goodbye Brooke."

Neither Brooke nor Lucas saw the end credits roll over Dexter and Tracy's happy reunion. For two people saying goodbye that night, maybe it was more fitting that way.

_What's wrong with you, with us,  
__what's happening to us?  
__Ah our love is a harsh cord  
__that binds us wounding us  
__and if we want  
__to leave our wound,  
__to separate,  
__it makes a new knot for us and condemns us  
__to drain our blood and burn together.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	10. When You Appear

**Author's Note: **This chapter is dedicated to friendships of all kinds. And, to those who miss the ever so complicated relationship that was Breyton. After all, a girl does not get married without the presence of her "best friend."

Brooke woke up that morning wondering how she got to her bed from the garden the night before. Before she could figure out that Lucas must have carried her upstairs, her phone started ringing. Reaching for it on her nightstand, she saw the caller ID and remembered that her last bridesmaid was arriving that day.

Brooke: "Are you here yet? I'll be down there in a second."

She quickly got out of bed, put her robe on and ran down the stairs. Running through the house, she almost knocked Hayley over.

Hayley: "What's gotten into you?"

B: "Sorry, Sam's here!"

As soon as she went outside, she saw the boat dock on the pier. With the widest smile she ever had, Brooke ran through the front garden, across the beach and onto the pier. Her crazy excitement was matched only by that of Sam's. When they finally met halfway down the pier, it was the hug that carried the yearning from years apart. They had spoken often and kept in touch over email, but Brooke hadn't seen Sam since she left Tree Hill over 3 years ago.

Brooke: "Look at you. My God, you are so grown up."

Sam: "In a good way, right?"

B: "I've missed you so much."

S: "Apparently so much that you couldn't put some clothes on, or maybe even shoes, before you ran out."

B: "Yeah, yeah. I know you love me too."

Brooke and Sam were arm in arm walking back to the house.

S: "Where's Julian?"

B: "He's in Vegas for his bachelor party. He'll be back tomorrow."

S: "Better check him at the door for glitter."

B: "I have taught you well. How's school?"

Sam had just started her freshman year at the University of Virginia. She was studying English on the creative writing track.

S: "It's only been a couple of weeks but so far so good."

B: "Did you get my college survival kit yet?"

S: "You know I get the big coffee mug, the packs of candy, even the dictionary. But, how exactly does pepper spray fit the pattern?"

B: "Call me after your first fraternity party, kid. It's every young woman's required campus accessory."

S: "Thank you for everything."

B: "You're welcome."

S: "And I do mean everything. I wouldn't be at college if it wasn't for you."

When Sam's mother couldn't afford tuition, Brooke had volunteered to pay for her education.

B: "Don't mention it. I'm living vicariously through you Sam Walker."

While Sam reunited with Hayley and Millie and met Quinn, Mia, and Alex back inside the house, Brooke couldn't help but notice the boys were gone.

Brooke: "How come we're low on testosterone?"

Hayley: "Well, we kicked them off the island for the day. They're on strict orders not to return until tomorrow. No boys allowed at this bachelorette party. Well, maybe no boys was a little premature."

Sam: "Seems I arrived just in time."

While the girls joined the newly arrived Victoria and Karen out on the terrace for breakfast, Brooke took Sam upstairs to her room to settle in.

Sam: "Where's Peyton?"

Brooke: "I don't think she's coming."

S: "How come?"

B: "She and Lucas are having some problems, so I don't think she felt comfortable."

S: "She should be here, Brooke. Don't you think?"

B: "I know, but I can't force her to show up."

S: "These problems must be serious if she is missing your wedding."

A part of her agreed with Sam...the part that wanted her best friend at her wedding. The fact that Peyton hadn't come told her that she must have known what Lucas had been planning to do. And despite being saddened by her absence, Brooke understood and accepted why Peyton did not want to be there.

B: "That's nothing for you to worry about. Now, let's get you settled."

A short while later, Sam and Brooke joined the rest of the girls for breakfast. The lazy morning of gossiping about boys turned into an afternoon of mimosas and bloody marys in the sun on the beach. In her usual lack of motherly tact, Victoria made a comment about how her daughter had begun to put on some weight making Brooke shift uncomfortably on her chair. In a moment of rare clarity, Millie pulled Brooke away from the group.

Millie: "Brooke, I need to talk to you."

Brooke: "What's up?"

M: "Ok, I'm not sure how to ask you this, but I've been noticing you don't drink and Victoria talking about you gaining weight..."

B: "Millie, yes."

M: "...not that you don't look great. Hot, really. You've been throwing up in the mornings..."

B: "If you would just listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something."

M: "...and the mood swings. I mean Lucas showing up would throw anyone off their rocker, but..."

B: "I am pregnant."

M: "...I'm just wondering, maybe there's a chance...wait, what did you say?"

B: "I'm pregnant."

M: "Oh my God! Brooke!"

B: "I know. I can't believe it myself."

Millie hugged her friend with the intensity of having heard the best news ever.

M: "Congratulations. I don't think it could have happened to a person more deserving."

B: "Oh Millie, don't cry."

M: "Happy tears. See? How long have you known?"

B: "Three weeks."

M: "Why didn't you tell me?"

B: "I haven't told anyone."

M: "No one?"

B: "Hayley figured it out but that's it. And, I need to keep it that way for a little while longer."

M: "You want to wait until Julian's back?"

B: "Something like that. Will you keep it a secret? Please?"

M: "Ok, sure. My lips are sealed."

B: "Thank you. But, you are going to have to wipe that Brooke's-pregnant grin off your face before we go back there."

M: "I don't know if I can do that."

B: "Well, picture a naked Chris Keller making out with Alex on the kitchen counter."

M: "Yep, that'll do the trick."

B: "Now you know how I felt last night."

The sun had begun to set when Brooke and Millie returned to the beach. Brooke saw that her bridesmaids, Hayley and Sam, were already wearing T-shirts made especially for the occasion, sleeveless black with red lettering reading _Brookesmaid #3 _and_ #4_, respectively, across the front and _HosOverBros _in the back. As the _Brookesmaid #1_, Millie quickly put on hers too. Brooke couldn't help but notice that one final T-shirt, Peyton's #2, was left to the side, unclaimed. Karen and Victoria presented Brooke with a sash to wear for the rest of the evening. They claimed that since it was clear who would be wearing the pants in her household, the sash had to read _Mrs. Julian Davis_. Alex reached in her bag to take out the final missing piece and placed it on an unsuspecting Brooke's head.

Alex: "We thought a tiara is more Brooke Davis's style...you know, as opposed to a veil."

Brooke shouldn't have been surprised that the tiara was made up of tiny penises. After all, tasteful and classy rarely existed in Alex's world. When the party finally moved to the back terrace for dinner, most of them were already tipsy and all were having a great time. Dinner started with relatively safe toasts to the happy couple, until a tipsy Victoria decided she had to give her daughter much needed wedding night advice.

Brooke: "Mother, that ship has sailed some time ago. And Sam's too young for your stories."

Sam: "I'm 18. What were you doing when you were 18 Brooke?"

B: "Studying, day and night. As you should be."

Hayley: "Not exactly how I remember it."

B: "Excuse me, how old were you when you had Jaime?"

Unfortunately, laughter was cut short by what sounded like an alarm.

B: "Is that a fire alarm? You guys stay here. I'll go check what's going on."

Millie stopped Brooke and pointed to a group of firemen approaching from inside the house.

B: "But, how did they get here so quickly? Wait a minute...is this..."

Fireman: "Ladies, we're going to have to shut this party down."

Alex: "But, officer, why? Have we been bad?"

B: "I can't believe you did this."

Sam: "What's going on?"

Fireman: "There are too many hot women in one place. We felt the flames all the way from the mainland."

B: "Oh God no."

Sam: "Are they..."

Fireman: "You have only two options. We can hose you down..."

Hayley: "Yeah!"

B: "Hayley!"

Fireman: "...or join you."

As the music started playing and one by one the "firemen" lost their shirts, Brooke didn't know if she should be covering Sam's eyes or just get up and dance along. Soon, a lot more than the shirts came off and everyone found out how many single dollar bills Victoria carried in her purse. Somehow Brooke found herself sitting in a chair in the middle of the terrace surrounded by almost naked pulsating bodies. A few attempted semi-successfully to restrain Alex and Victoria so they would keep their hands to themselves. When the music stopped and the men bowed, saying their goodbyes, Brooke was left not only with a bright red face, but also an appreciation for naughty girl friends. As the firemen walked out amongst applause and whistles, the boys walked in confusion.

Hayley: "What are you doing here?"

Nathan: "Crashing the party. I thought you said no boys allowed."

H: "Well, you see there was a fire, so we had to make an exception."

N: "The naked kind?"

H: "That's right."

N: "Ladies and gentlemen, my wife, the chippendale groupie."

As Hayley gave her husband a welcome back kiss, Quinn did the same with Clay. While Millie greeted Mouth with a hug, Mia handed Chase a drink. Brooke didn't have to wonder why Chris Keller was back when she saw Alex jump in his arms. Karen took a call from Andy telling her he was waiting at the pier to take her back home. Saying her goodbyes, Karen offered Victoria a ride home as well. Brooke searched for Lucas in the crowd, but he wasn't there. There among the happy couples, Brooke stood alone...until Sam put her arm around her waist and head on her shoulder.

Sam: "You miss him."

Brooke: "More than you know."

What Sam didn't know was that, at that moment, it wasn't her fiancé Brooke was missing...it wasn't his face she had searched for in the crowd. Sam's arrival and the bachelorette festivities had provided just enough distraction so she didn't have time all day to think about Lucas's parting words from last night or him leaving the next morning. But now that was all she could think about. She watched Nathan and Hayley playfully recount the events of their respective nights. How did they do it all these years? What was this best kept secret in town...this magic formula to a happy relationship? Over the years, the more Brooke got desperate to unlock the secret, it somehow got more brilliant at hiding from her. She was so lost in thoughts that it took Sam a few tries to get her attention.

Sam: "Brooke? Brooke, your phone. It's ringing."

Brooke didn't recognize the number but thought it might be Julian. They had spoken a couple times the day before but he hadn't yet called that day. She took the stairs down from the terrace to the back garden so she could have some privacy.

Brooke: "Hello?"

Peyton: "Hi Brooke."

B: "Peyton?"

P: "The one and only. It's so good to hear your voice."

B: "You have no idea how glad I am that you called. How's my namesake niece doing?"

P: "Fast asleep, probably dreaming about unicorns."

B: "Or becoming a rock star. You forget whose kid we're talking about here. Kiss her for me, will you?"

P: "Everyday. So, have they put out the fire yet?"

B: "How did you know?"

P: "I have spies everywhere. And, I still get phone calls asking me if I know where to find male strippers in Tree Hill."

B: "I wish you were here."

P: "And, I wish I was there."

B: "Why aren't you?"

P: "Don't be mad. You know why. I would be there if I could. In a heartbeat."

They were both silent for a moment.

P: "Are you happy?"

B: "I don't know."

P: "What's missing?"

B: "You mean besides you?"

P: "Yes, besides me. What will make you happy? Don't be afraid of what you want."

B: "What if I don't trust in what I want? Tell me what to do."

P: "I can't do that. But I can tell you to trust in yourself, to trust in your heart. I always did. I still do. So does he. Let him tell you what's in his heart. Hear him, Brooke. Really hear him."

B: "I miss you P. Sawyer."

P: "Not half as much as I miss you."

B: "Are you happy?"

P: "Very."

B: "So, what happens now?"

P: "That's easy. You promise to listen to your heart, tell me you love me, and go back to your party."

B: "Just like that?"

P: "Come on. Promise."

B: "I promise."

P: "I love you."

B: "I love you too."

P: "Now go. Destiny awaits."

B: "Bye Peyton."

P: "I'll see you Brooke."

Brooke hadn't spoken to Peyton in months, but this was how it always had been with them. Regardless of the time apart, what or who had come between them, or the damage they had done to each other...it took one phone call to cut through the distance, the pain, the time. It took only a few words to see deep into the soul, to remind that there was someone else who understood, someone who cared. And, that night, it took that one phone call, which probably lasted no longer than a minute. Peyton had, once again, managed to tell Brooke exactly what she needed to hear. That was how it always had been with best friends.

When she hung up, Brooke was still alone in the garden. Watching the ocean, she could hear someone start playing the piano. Soon, she could hear Hayley sing too.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long."  
~~~_

That was when Brooke felt his presence. She didn't know how or why, but something was different. Maybe the air shifted or the sky changed color, or maybe everything was exactly the same. Somehow she knew he was close. And, when she turned around, she saw that she was right. Lucas was there.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "No matter what I say or do, I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone."  
~~~_

_And when you appear  
__all the rivers sound  
__in my body, bells  
__shake the sky,  
__and a hymn fills the world.  
__Only you and I,  
__only you and I, my love,  
__listen to me.  
__~Pablo Neruda_

**Author's Note: **In this chapter, Hayley James Scott starts to sing and play on the piano an acoustic version of _Gravity _from Sara Bareilles's 2004 debut album titled Careful Confessions.


	11. You Were the Miracle

Banished from the island by Hayley, the boys were hanging out at River Court. While Nathan and Clay challenged Skills and Chase on the court, Mouth was narrating on the sidelines. Watching the game, Lucas broke the bad news to his nephew.

Lucas: "Jaime, buddy, I'm leaving tomorrow."

Jaime: "Why? Is Sawyer ok?"

L: "Yes, she's fine. I'll be back soon to see you."

J: "I don't want you to go."

L: "I don't want to go either, but I have to."

J: "Brooke's going to be mad you're not staying for the wedding."

L: "You can help me with that. Take care of her for me?"

J: "I'll try. It's not going to be easy."

L: "Never is. But if anyone can do it, it's you."

J: "Did something happen? You look sad. Are you ok?"

L: "I am sad to leave you, Jamie. But I don't want you to worry. I'm going to be just fine."

J: "What can I do?"

L: "You're already doing it. Hey, I found something back at the house for you and Lily. But, since the men were kicked out for the day, it has to wait. Brooke can set it up for you guys tomorrow."

J: "What is it?"

L: "A surprise. Just remind Brooke about it, ok?"

J: "Cool."

L: "One more thing. Come see me in New York? We both know your parents can't say no to you."

J: "I do kind of have them wrapped around my finger, don't I?"

L: "Brat."

J: "And proud of it."

Skills and Chase, the losers on court, treated the rest of the gang to lunch in town. After lunch, they picked up Andy from the house and left Jaime behind with Lily and the babysitter. Soon the outing required afternoon drinks and the boys ended up at Tric, where they were met with Chris Keller sitting at the bar.

Nathan: "What are you still doing here?"

Chris: "Of all the gin joints. Look everybody, my dearest and closest buds. I'm so glad you found me."

Nathan took out his wallet and threw at Chris a couple $20 bills, which landed on the bar.

Nathan: "I'm sure there's a bus out of town soon enough. Ticket's on me."

C: "You might want to spread the love out. I'll be here a few more days. Alex asked me to be her date for the wedding."

Lucas: "Nathan, let him be. It's not worth it."

Chris picked up the bills off the bar and ordered three tequila shots.

C: "Hey, on the bright side, drinks are on me."

Handing the shot glasses to Nathan and Lucas, he offered a toast.

C: "Truce? To burying the hatchet? Temporarily? Come on. Bottoms up."

Lucas and Nathan hesitantly took the offered shot glasses and downed the tequila. Walking away from him, the brothers sat on the other side of the bar. When Lucas kept ordering one tequila shot after another, Nathan had to intervene.

Nathan: "Maybe you should take it easy Luke."

Lucas: "I'm fine."

N: "I'm not even sure you can sit straight without falling of the stool."

Lucas stood up briefly to demonstrate he was sober enough, but he was wobbling.

L: "As I said, I'm fine."

N: "How about a glass of water?"

L: "Water doesn't help erase his smug face off my mind."

N: "Why do I get the feeling this is about more than Keller?"

L: "I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

N: "Brooke."

Lucas raised another shot glass and drank to his brother guessing right.

L: "Brooke. She doesn't want anything to do with me. Done, over. She doesn't love me or care what I do...correction, who I do. Isn't that great? I'm free. Let's drink to being freaking free. Cheers!"

Laughing at his fate, Lucas downed another shot.

N: "Luke, slow down."

L: "No, you should catch up. Come on. We both know you can drink."

Nathan was beginning to get annoyed.

N: "Getting smashed isn't the answer."

L: "You should know. Sure feels better though."

N: "Talk to me again in the morning."

L: "What is the answer, brother? Huh? Should I burn everything, paint over her pictures? Shall I get mad enough to crash my car?"

Nathan understood his brother was hurting but he had had enough of the innuendo.

N: "Ok, that's enough."

L: "Oh I know. I should go get her, right? Kidnap her away from all this?"

N: "If you would stop being an ass for one second..."

Lucas stood up and called for his friends. With arms in the air, he was announcing his brilliant plan.

L: "Hey everybody! We're crashing the party! Come on, let's go see what the girls are up to!"

Before Nathan could stop Lucas, the wheels were put in motion. Chris fuelled the fire, Mouth and Clay jumped onboard. Nathan could only stand and watch them all walk out led by his drunk brother on a desperate mission. He paid everyone's bar tab and ran after them. The whole way to the marina, he tried unsuccessfully to convince Lucas not to pursue this plan he believed was bound to fail. It was only when Andy's yacht docked at the island pier that a semi-sobered up Lucas realized the error of his ways. It was too late to turn around, but he couldn't move forward either. While the boys went ahead to crash the girls' party, he first apologized to Nathan and then thanked him for taking care of him even though he made it almost impossible. He told him he couldn't join them. He would stay behind, maybe take a walk on the beach, and try to sober up.

When everybody left, Lucas stood alone staring at the house for a while. He had promised himself, more importantly, he had promised Brooke, that he would not bother her anymore. He would stay away. He had every intention to keep that promise. Walking across the beach towards the gardens, he thought she didn't have to see him. He could approach unseen from the back gardens and look inside from the terrace. He was leaving the next morning, and all he wanted was to see her one last time. As he walked through the garden, he heard first the faint sound of a piano and then Hayley's voice.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long."  
~~~_

That was when Lucas saw her. She was alone staring out into the ocean. Holding her phone close to her chest, she had this content smile on her face. She didn't see him at first. But then the wind shifted and he could see in her face that she felt his presence. He hesitated, not knowing whether he should stay still or walk away before she would turn around. He would let her decide what happened next. When she turned around to face him, it was as if she knew he would be there.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "No matter what I say or do, I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone."  
~~~_

Falling for one of nature's loveliest tricks, to stop speech when words become superfluous, Brooke and Lucas simply looked at each other. Motionless, it was as if he was trying to memorize her face. Breathless, it was as if she was trying to keep him there, in that moment, forever.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains.  
__I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain."  
~~~_

Brooke slowly took off her tiara and let it drop on the ground. She took a couple of steps forward toward Lucas. He took his hands out of his pockets and took a step forward as well. Still walking, Brooke reached for her bachelorette sash, pulled it over her head and dropped it on the ground. He took the last few steps forward bringing him close enough to touch her. There in the middle of the garden, under a million stars, while the moonlight kissed the sea and the waves clasped one another, Brooke and Lucas stood together, eyes locked, inches apart.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "Set me free, leave me be.  
__I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.  
__Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.  
__But you're on to me and all over me."  
~~~_

Lucas smiled, looked down on the ground and up at Brooke again. He held out his hand for her. Brooke smiled back and placed her hand on his. She closed in the distance between them, and it wasn't long before they found themselves moving to the sound of music. She rested her head on his chest and he held her waist tight in his arms.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.  
__When I thought that I was strong.  
__But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone."  
~~~_

She thought how familiar this was...comfortable, safe. It was as if no time had passed since their dance years ago at Nathan and Hayley's wedding before everything fell apart. But, time had passed...so much had happened... they were different now. For the length of this one song, she could pretend they were still those two young people in love who while dancing felt like no one else existed in the world...no worries, just them. She could forget that she was keeping a big secret from him. But the song would end...too soon for Brooke.

Lucas rested his head on Brooke's. If there was a way to keep her in his arms just like this, forever, he wished he would find it. In that moment, for that one song, he felt more content and complete than he had for months. But the song would end...too soon for Lucas.

_~~~  
Hayley singing: "Something always brings me back to you. It never takes too long."  
~~~_

They didn't let go when Hayley stopped playing. Rather they both lingered for a few more seconds before looking at each other. Then Lucas did the simplest thing in the world. He leaned down and kissed her. And the world cracked open. All the longing, dreams, and anguish that slept deep within them came awake. Was it a goodbye kiss that resembled a greeting instead, the first snowfall, a pledge of future bliss? Was it a kiss that sealed their fate in inevitable sorrow, one last thrilling act of farewell? All she knew was that when he kissed her, he wiped out the years apart. She felt a final surrender, like after a long search, she had finally found herself. All he knew was that when she kissed him back, he no longer hurt. Somehow, everything was transformed...everything made sense.

The moment would be cut too soon. Lucas first felt Brooke slip away, then heard her cry out. When he opened his eyes, he saw that she was doubled over in pain, holding her stomach with both hands.

Brooke: "No! The baby!"

_There was the black solitude of the islands,  
__and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.  
__There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.  
__There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.  
__~Pablo Neruda_

**Author's Note:** In this chapter, while Brooke and Lucas dance, Hayley James Scott sings an acoustic version of _Gravity_ from Sara Bareilles's 2004 debut album, Careful Confessions. It was Agnes de Mille, the American dancer (1905-1993), who first said: _"...then I did the simplest thing in the world. I leaned down... and kissed him. And the world cracked open."_


	12. Luminous Mind, Bright Devil

While Hayley sang, Millie's eyes searched the crowd for Brooke, the night's guest of honor. Sam told her that Brooke had walked down the stairs to the garden to take a phone call. When she looked down from the edge of the terrace, all she could see were Brooke's tiara and sash on the ground. Curious and a bit worried about where her friend was, Millie took the stairs down to look for her. Then, she saw them...Lucas was putting Brooke's arm over his shoulder, and letting her lean onto him, he was practically carrying Brooke over to a bench nearby. When she walked closer, she saw that Brooke was holding onto her stomach in pain. Millie started running towards them and only stopped when she kneeled down by Brooke.

Millie: "Brooke, are you ok?"

Brooke: "I'm fine."

M: "Is it the baby?"

B: "The baby's fine."

Brooke looked down at her hand still on her stomach and spoke lovingly to her child.

B: "You're just reminding me you're there, aren't you kid? As if I can ever forget you."

M: "Come on, let's go. We have to get you checked out."

B: "Millie, it's really ok. The pain...it came and went. It was quick and not the first time. My doctor says it's normal with a growing uterus. Something about muscles stretching."

M: "Are you sure? It is best to be safe than sorry."

B: "Yes, I'm sure. Pain's gone."

Since the second Brooke had cried out for her baby, Lucas hadn't said one word. Brooke had been too preoccupied with getting through the pain that she hadn't even really realized that the one man who she had been desperate to keep in the dark was sitting next to her. As she reassured Millie that everything was fine, she was being hit by the sinking feeling that her secret was out. Lucas knew she was pregnant. She didn't have the courage to look at him...just like he didn't have the courage to look away from her. He had heard the words...the baby...but somehow the meaning had not registered. Seeing her in pain, he had grabbed Brooke by the waist and helped her sit on the bench. It had been instinct that took over, the most natural instinct to take care of her. Nothing else had mattered, not what he had heard, not what it all meant. But now, watching her talk about this baby with so much love in her eyes, he felt like he had been holding his breath since he heard those two little words that changed everything...the baby. Would she ever look back at him? And if she did, what would he say? All that had to wait when he heard Hayley in the distance.

Hayley: "Brooke? What happened?

Nathan and Hayley had come down the stairs laughing and playfully making out. When they saw the three on the bench, Hayley knew something was wrong. With Nathan not far behind, Hayley started running towards Brooke.

Millie: "She says she's fine. The baby's fine. Everything's fine."

Nathan: "The what?"

H: "Brooke, you ok?"

B: "Yes, Millie's exaggerating just a little bit. By the way, can we possibly get her a megaphone or something? I think there may be a couple of people on the other side of the island who haven't heard I'm pregnant."

N: "You're pregnant?"

B: "Yes."

Nathan noticed his stoic brother simply sitting there speechless, staring at Brooke.

N: "That's great news. Congratulations."

B: "Thank you."

H: "So, what happened?"

M: "She says it was a just temporary pain. Normal in her condition."

H: "Ligaments?"

B: "Exactly."

H: "It is normal."

M: "Speaking from experience? Well, this never-been-pregnant girl is going to freak out a little if you don't mind."

B: "I don't mind one bit. I do love that you care."

And it was true. Brooke loved that she had friends who genuinely cared. But there was something she had to do...someone she had to talk to.

B: "Hey guys, can you all give Lucas and I a moment alone please?"

That was when Hayley first noticed that Lucas had been sitting motionless and silent the entire time. Then she saw the tiara and the sash on the ground. Whatever had happened before the pain had hit, she felt that Brooke was about to break Lucas's heart one more time. Despite wanting to hug her friend and hold his hand, her instincts told her that Lucas had to face the moment of truth alone.

H: "We'll be right upstairs if you need us."

So Hayley took her husband by the hand and walked away. And when Millie followed, they were finally alone. Brooke could feel him watching her, but she didn't have enough strength to meet his eyes and say what she had to say at the same time. So, she exhaled and looked forward out into the ocean instead. They just sat there for what felt like an eternity...quiet, not knowing exactly how to say what came next.

L: "You're pregnant."

With those simple words, Lucas broke the silence.

B: "Yes."

And with her one simple word, it was real. He felt his eyes close and the weight on his shoulders get heavier. He slowly turned away from Brooke and when he opened his eyes, he was now looking out into the same ocean as she was.

L: "Congratulations."

B: "Thank you."

So formal, Brooke thought, was he ever going to ask what he really wanted to know? Or would he prolong the agony hoping the answer would change in time if he waited long enough.

L: "I know how much you've wanted this. I'm so happy for you Brooke."

And, he was genuine in that happiness. He knew, maybe better than anyone, how much she had wished for a child for years. Regardless of who the father was, he had always hoped she would know the joy of parenthood.

B: "I'm sorry you found out this way."

She had made a million plans to tell him, but ended up breaking every single one. Wanting him to be the first to know, she had even gone all the way to New York to tell him the day she found out. She had chosen to leave without a word that day and she'd been running away ever since.

L: "Were you ever going to tell me?"

Lucas couldn't help but wonder if she would have preferred him never knowing. With that thought, deep down, a different kind of pain began to take hold. He wasn't sure yet what it was he was feeling.

B: "Eventually. I didn't know how to say it."

Three little words, he thought..."I am pregnant"...it would have been that easy. Then, that feeling he couldn't quite place became all too real, sharp in his heart. He knew why she didn't know how to say it.

L: "Does Julian know?"

There was the name they both had been dreading. The one missing piece in their equation...the one presence he couldn't deny...and the one fact in life she couldn't avoid.

B: "No, I haven't told him yet."

L: "Is this why?"

For the first time since their kiss earlier that night, Brooke looked at Lucas. And when he looked back at her, he wasn't sure if what he saw on her face was anxiety or confusion...maybe even fear.

L: "Is this why you're staying with him?"

B: "Lucas, it's more complicated than that."

L: "How far along are you Brooke?"

There it was. The question she had been running away from since she found out she was pregnant...the question he had been waiting to ask and she had been afraid to answer all night. Brooke held two hearts...two hearts, beating fast, placed in her hands by two great men. And with the truth, she would crush one.

B: "I'm two months pregnant."

With the answer that made everything else irrelevant, she crushed Lucas's heart. Dropping his head, he looked away from her. Realizing that there were no more what if's or maybe's, he felt the pain in his heart move up to his throat almost choking him.

L: "Julian's the father."

B: "Yes."

Brooke was caught unprepared when Lucas turned around and hugged her at one fell swoop. He hugged her so tight that he could feel her shaking and start to cry. He whispered exactly what she wanted to hear in her ear.

L: "You are going to be an amazing mother."

Finally parting from her, he kept his eyes locked on hers. After wiping away the tears on her cheeks, he put his right hand on her stomach.

L: "And this little one is the luckiest kid in the world."

Before Brooke could say anything, he quickly stood up. He didn't look back at her again and Brooke knew he had finally given up.

L: "I understand...I understand why you're choosing him. But I want you to know something. I am in love with you Brooke Davis. The whole heart kind. And I would have loved this child as my own because he, or she, is a part of you. And that would have been more than enough. We could have watched him grow and teach her everything we know, together. But I understand Brooke, and it's ok."

Lucas walked away, leaving not only Brooke behind, but also the fight he lost for the life he wanted. He kept walking, because if he stopped for one second, he would feel the loss. He would feel the end of something so strong, something he believed couldn't be destroyed, something so deeply engraved in him that he couldn't imagine living without it. Everything would change, nothing would ever be the same again.

Back on the bench in the garden, Brooke watched him walk away, maybe for the last time. And, she cried alone...over the heart she broke, his and hers. She cried over fleeing possibilities, dreams she woke up from, wishes that would never come true. She cried so she would let go of regrets and remorse, and finally, the life she could have had. She felt a hand on her shoulder and when she looked up, she saw that Hayley had come back to check on her.

Hayley: "Brooke, are you ok?"

Unable to stop crying, Brooke couldn't answer. So, Hayley did the only thing she could. She sat down next to her friend, and hugged her. When they parted, Hayley tried her best to console Brooke.

H: "Everything's going to be all right."

B: "Nothing is right, Hales. Nothing. I just broke his heart."

H: "There was nothing else you could do. You have to give him time. He is going to accept how things are eventually."

B: "Lucas is leaving so Julian and I can be a family."

H: "I know it's hard for him, but he'll be ok. You can't blame yourself."

B: "Yes I can."

H: "Brooke, you didn't do anything wrong."

B: "I lied."

H: "What do you mean?"

B: "The baby."

H: "What about the baby?"

B: "I told Lucas that the baby is Julian's."

H: "What are you saying Brooke?"

B: "I lied, Hayley. Lucas is the father."

_Luminous mind, bright devil  
__of absolute clusterings, of upright noon:  
__here we are at last, alone, without loneliness,  
__far from the savage city's delirium.  
__Just as a pure line describes the dove's curve,  
__as the fire honors and nourishes peace,  
__so you and I made this heavenly outcome.  
__The mind and love live naked in this house.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	13. Rest With Your Dream Inside My Dream

Hayley: "I'm sorry. I think I'm hearing things. Did you just say Lucas is the father?"

Brooke: "Yes, I did."

Hayley had heard the words, but it would take a bit longer for their meaning to sink in. She took a deep breath and tried to disguise her shock, but it was no use. Speechless, she just stared at Brooke as her crying slowly turned into more of a still sadness. Brooke was expecting Hayley's first question.

H: "Are you sure?"

B: "Yes. I'm six weeks pregnant."

H: "Six weeks...was that when Julian was out of the country?"

Brooke nodded in agreement. Julian had been in Europe promoting his movie for almost a month around her conception date. There was no chance he was the father. Hayley had so many questions that she didn't know where to start.

H: "Ok. But how? Where? Why?"

B: "I went to New York on a whim. I don't even know why anymore. We were alone...and the sink with the broken faucet...we were all wet and...God. Before we knew it, it just happened."

H: "It doesn't just happen, Brooke."

Brooke stood up and walked a few steps away. Hayley was right; it hadn't just happened. This wasn't some momentary loss of control or temporary insanity...she had known exactly what she was doing and with whom. And, more importantly, no amount of guilt or shame would make her regret it.

B: "I know I messed up, ok? What do you want me to say? I didn't plan it, but I couldn't stop it either."

Realizing that her comments were upsetting Brooke, Hayley followed her.

H: "Look, I'm not judging you. It's not my place to ask for an explanation. I'm just trying to understand so I can help you."

B: "Believe me, I judge myself enough for the both of us."

H: "Brooke, don't do that. You and Lucas have history. This isn't just some guy you picked up at a bar."

B: "Don't you see? That's what makes it worse. I can't just call it a mistake and act like it never happened. It's Lucas."

And just like that Brooke's struggle began to make sense for Hayley. She had been assuming Lucas's feelings were one sided. She had thought that he would be leaving the island, without Brooke, heartbroken. She had missed that the bride was torn between two men.

H: "This is why he's here. He knows you have feelings for him."

B: "I love him, Hayley. I don't know what to do. What should I do?"

For Hayley, the next step was as clear as day. The truth couldn't remain hidden any longer. She wouldn't let her best friend leave without the knowledge that he was expecting a child.

H: "Tell the truth."

It wasn't as clear for Brooke. The truth not only threatened the safe life she had built with Julian, but also brought back the all-so-familiar insecurities she felt whenever Lucas entered her world. She knew what the right thing to do was, but actually doing it took more strength than she had.

B: "I can't."

H: "Yes, you can. And you will. What you can't do is keep on lying. Not about the baby. And, not about your feelings either. What was your plan exactly? To keep Luke in the dark forever and allow Julian to fall in love with a baby that isn't his?"

B: "I don't have a plan. I haven't exactly thought this through."

H: "I can see that. Listen to me. Lucas loves you and he will love this child more than life itself. Let me tell you that happens if he hears the truth from someone else. And you and I both know he will find out. You will lose him Brooke. It's as simple as that. If you keep his child from him, he will never forgive you. Can you live with that? You've seen him with Sawyer, with Jaime. You know how good of a father he is. What are you afraid of?"

B: "Him. I'm afraid of him...of how he makes me feel. I'm afraid of needing him again, wanting him, loving him. I'm afraid of never being enough for him, never being the one for him. I'm afraid of sharing with him the most important thing in my life, this baby, only to have him leave us. I'm afraid of opening my world up to him and having him walk out tearing it apart. Again."

Brooke was completely honest about her feelings maybe for the first time since that morning in New York when she woke up in his arms. For the first time, she admitted out loud her fear of letting him in, of getting hurt and being abandoned...she didn't know how to trust him with her heart again. So she had chosen to push him away and run, before he could do it to her.

H: "The past does not have to be the future. We are not doomed to repeat our mistakes. Let him earn back your trust. He came here to fight for you, days before your wedding, knowing full well you weren't going to make it easy. Does that sound like someone who wants to walk away?"

Brooke thought maybe not then, but Lucas would leave her eventually. He had done it before, he would do it again. If she did let him in, it wouldn't be just her life on the line, but her baby's as well.

B: "How do I take that risk? It's not only my heart I'm gambling with anymore."

H: "If you ask me, the gamble has already paid off. You said you didn't remember why you went to New York. Did you ever think maybe there was something missing in your life? You rolled the dice then, and by some miracle, it worked...you found each other. As if that wasn't enough, you were given this gift, this miracle. And what do you do? Instead of welcoming it all with open arms, you choose to push him away. He is your answer. And you are his. He is your chance at happiness. Take it and run. You want a life with Lucas. Go to him, Brooke. Go to him and be with him."

B: "And decimate the one I leave behind?"

H: "Julian."

B: "My fiancé. The man who loves me unconditionally. And I love him too, Hayley. I don't want to hurt him. God knows he deserves better than me, better than any of this."

H: "So, you'll stay with him out of what...an obligation? Lie to him every day? Is that better? Will he be happy then? Does he deserve that?"

Brooke thought what Julian deserved was a wife who would be faithful to him, who would give him her whole heart without a second thought, who would protect him from the kind of pain she was about to unleash. She would never be that wife.

B: "No, but I can't break his heart like this either. We are supposed to be married in two days."

H: "Brooke, only you know what's in your heart. Only you can decide who you want to share your life with. All I ask is that you be honest with yourself and don't be afraid. Whether it's Julian or Lucas you want, you still have to tell the truth about the baby. Tell me you understand that."

B: "I do."

H: "Nathan told me that Lucas is leaving tomorrow morning. You have to talk to him tonight."

B: "I can't."

H: "If you don't tell him, I will."

B: "No, I mean I have to tell Julian first. I owe him that much."

H: "Ok. Tell him tonight."

B: "I can't do it over the phone. He'll be back tomorrow morning. I have to tell him in person."

H: "Promise me you won't let Luke leave without knowing the truth."

B: "I promise."

With Brooke's promise, Hayley finally breathed a sigh of relief. She put her right arm around Brooke who in turn rested her head on Hayley's shoulder. The two women stared out into the ocean, heavy under the weight of the secret they now shared.

H: "You're going to be ok, Brooke. Once the truth comes out, everything will fall into place. You'll see. You'll put the baby first, and the rest will work itself out."

Brooke wished it would be that easy, but she knew better. There would be one more night of peace before the storm would hit in the morning. No matter the downfall, she and her baby would weather that storm together. After all, she had set it in motion weeks ago and there was no stopping the future.

B: "Somehow I'm not as optimistic as you."

H: "I'll be here every step of the way. And, I won't be the only one."

B: "Thank you. For being you. For listening. For kicking my ass. Thank you."

H: "Anytime."

B: "I love you Hayley James Scott."

H: "I love you too Brooke Davis."

B: "This stupid and flawed Brooke Davis?"

H: "Just as she is."

With one final hug, Hayley left Brooke alone in the gardens pondering what tomorrow would bring. Brooke had promised the truth would come out, but she didn't know if she would be able to find the words to tell Julian. What she felt for Lucas, what she wanted for her life and her baby...all of that had to wait. First, she had to crush the hopes and dreams of an innocent. She was about to do to Julian what Lucas had done to her, more than once. She would soon be the reason he would guard his heart above all else for the rest of his life...just like she had done until she had met him. The truth would come out and wound deeply the one man who had helped her heal and trust again. She would have to live with his wound and broken heart for all the days to come. Brooke wouldn't be able to sleep that night.

And she wouldn't be the only one. Lucas had walked aimlessly around the island since he left Brooke's side. Now in his bedroom, he couldn't even remember how he ended up there. In his mind, there was only the fact that Brooke was pregnant with another man's baby...the man she would marry in just a few days. Even before he heard the news, he had already told her he had given up, made plans to leave and even said his goodbyes. But in the back of his mind, in the far corners of his heart, there had always been hope...but, not anymore. Lucas was packing when he heard the knock on his door, and when he opened, he found an impatient Hayley.

Hayley: "Hey, can I talk to you for a second?"

Lucas: "Yeah, sure. Come on in. I'm actually glad you're here. I wanted to say goodbye."

H: "Don't go."

L: "I can't stay Hales."

H: "Listen, Nathan told me why you're leaving. And I'm asking you anyway. Please stay."

L: "We'll see each other again. I'll be back soon and you'll come visit."

H: "That's not it. Not that I won't miss you."

L: "What's this about? Are you ok?"

H: "You have to stay. You can't leave. Not yet. Not now."

L: "Did something happen? Is Jaime ok? Lydia?"

H: "No, God no. Everyone's fine. It's Brooke. It's you and Brooke."

L: "There's no Brooke and me anymore. Hayley, I love that you care, but it's time for me to go."

H: "You can't be more wrong. Promise me something?"

L: "Anything."

H: "Don't leave before you talk to Brooke."

L: "There's nothing left to say."

H: "Yes, there is. Promise me you will talk to her before you leave tomorrow morning. Promise me you'll let her tell you what she has to say."

L: "All right. I promise."

Hayley left that night with the hope that her two friends would keep their promises. While a sleepless Lucas looked out into the night sky and wondered why he had made the promise, a sleepless Brooke was doing the same, worried about what delivering on her promise would mean to everyone she cared about. The night would be long and restless, but the morning would come anyway.

_No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,  
__we will go together, over the waters of time.  
__No one else will travel through the shadows with me,  
__only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	14. Give Me the Struggle

Brooke had fallen asleep less than a couple hours ago when Millie knocking woke her up. With a face marked with running mascara left over from the previous night, she was hit with morning sickness the moment she stood up. As she ran to the bathroom, an excited Millie entered calling for her to get up.

Millie: "Morning sleepy head. Time to rise and shine. Brooke?"

Brooke: "Not now."

M: "Oh, right. I'll hold your hair."

Brooke was thankful that her maid of honor was volunteering for some non-traditional duties. It didn't take long for Millie to notice that Brooke was wearing the same clothes from the night before.

M: "What happened to you last night?"

Resting on the cold bathroom floor, waiting for the next wave of nausea to hit, Brooke didn't know how to answer that question.

B: "What do you mean?"

M: "You look like hell."

B: "Thanks."

M: "It's not like there aren't mirrors everywhere in your room. Are you ok?"

B: "Not really."

M: "Brooke, everyone will be here soon for the rehearsal. We have to get you in that shower and dressed up right now."  
A panicked Brooke remembered all at once everything she had to do that morning.

B: "Oh my God, what time is it?"

M: "Ten o'clock. Why?"

She quickly stood up only to wobble with a head rush. Millie caught her by the arm.

M: "Brooke, slow down. It's all under control. I have everything set up outside. All you need to do is bring out that beautiful self you have locked up somewhere in there."

B: "No, you don't understand. I have to stop him."

M: "Stop him?"

Watching Brooke walking back into her room, aimlessly looking for something, maybe a change of clothes, Millie was struggling to make sense of her words.

B: "I have to get to him before he leaves. I can't miss him. Where are my damn shoes?"

Millie grabbed Brooke by the shoulders and slowly led her to the bed and helped her sit down.

M: "You can't go anywhere like this. Just calm down for a minute. Please. Tell me what's going on."

B: "Is Julian here?"

M: "Not yet, but he'll be here soon."

Brooke got up and resumed her search for shoes while Millie's confusion was compounding.

B: "I can't wait. I can't let him leave. God, Millie, I might be too late."

M: "Brooke you're not making any sense. Late for what? Who's leaving?"

B: "Lucas."

M: "You want to see Lucas? For what?"

B: "I have to stop him. I have to tell him."

M: "Tell him what?"

B: "That I'm pregnant with his child."

Blurting out the truth to a shocked Millie so she would let her go, Brooke had neglected to notice the sudden presence at her wide open door.

Julian: "You just did."

Turning around to face the owner of the voice, Brooke was hit with the fear of what came next. Dropping his bags on the floor, Julian practically ran to Brooke. He first grabbed her by the waist and hugged her tight. She felt her feet lift off the ground as he excitedly spun her around a few times. When he finally put her down, Brooke saw that he was sporting possibly the biggest smile she had ever seen on his face. She knew then that Julian hadn't heard enough to know this was Lucas's child. His was the smile she would have to erase, the laughter she would turn into tears, the happiness she would ruin. A part of her wished she could rewrite history…the baby would be Julian's and she would never have to take away the joy he felt at that moment. As reality sunk in, Brooke closed her eyes and let her head drop. When she looked back up at him ready to break her heart, she didn't get the chance.

Paul: "You're pregnant?"

His parents were right behind him. Just when she had thought it couldn't get any worse, life found a way to throw another curveball. She felt Millie's hand grab hers for silent support and needing every drop of strength, Brooke squeezed it hard.

Julian: "I can't believe it. Why didn't you tell me?"

Paul: "I'm going to be a grandfather!"

Julian's mother and father took turns hugging their soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

J: "Ok, easy guys. Can't you see we're smothering her? Come on honey, let's get out of here."

Fuelled with energy from the latest news and without waiting for Brooke's answer, Julian grabbed her by the hand and led her outside. Brooke caught the concern in Millie's eyes as she was being dragged out. It had happened so quickly that, never mind correcting the misunderstanding, Brooke hadn't even had the chance to get a word in. Now she was being led by the hand down the stairs, and through the house by her fiancé. It was as if she was out of her body, watching it all unfold from above, not being able to do anything to stop it. Julian stopped when they reached the middle of the front garden they were to be wed the next day. Millie was right; she had already set the aisle and even marked the space for the chairs and the gazebo. Julian was still holding her hand.

Julian: "Don't say anything. I want to go first."

Brooke nodded her head in agreement and let him.

J: "Ok, first, I love you. Well, it's the first, the second, and the last. I love you. It's as simple as that. Our life was already complete before this baby. You are so much more than I've ever needed and everything I've ever wanted. This gift is like the cherry on top of the sundae, like the extras on a DVD, like the rainbow when the sun follows the rain. What we created here, together, makes something already incredible, extraordinary. Just when I don't think I could be happier, you go and change the rules again. Only you."

Brooke was silently listening as she promised but she couldn't control her tears as well as her words.

B: "Julian, I…."

Julian interrupted before Brooke could gather enough courage to finish her sentence.

J: "I brought you something. Well, now I wish I got you tiny baby shoes or a pacifier, but this will have to do."

He took out a small wrapped box from his back pocket and handed it to her.

J: "Come on, open it."

Brooke's hands were shaking so it took her a while to unwrap the box. When she finally did, she found a small Elvis bobble-head doll inside. Holding it in her palm, she looked at Julian with confusion.

J: "I know. Classy, right? But, you've got to remember, it's Vegas. Press the red button."

When Brooke hesitantly pressed the button, an Elvis impersonator's recorded voice first sang "_wise men say, only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you" _then continued on to pronounce them husband and wife. Elvis ended the message by telling Julian to "_kiss her quick and make her heart go crazy._" While Brooke smiled for the first time that day, Julian leaned in and kissed her.

J: "In front of all our friends and family, and Elvis, I can't wait to marry you. Oh, I also have a bottle of glitter upstairs, but that's for the wedding night."

Brooke thought her fiancé couldn't have been more adorable if he tried. Then, for a second, the lie became too comfortable, but the guilt reminded her this moment was never meant to last. While she searched everywhere within for the strength to shatter this wonderful man's world, she felt him kneel down and place his hand and head on her stomach.

J: "Hi kid. It's me. Well, that's dad for you. I want you to know something. You couldn't have asked for a better mother. She's going to take care of you for a while. And I'll be here every step of the way. I promise you this…you will be protected and loved more than you can imagine. And, with these parents, your life will never be boring. I have to ask you for a favor. You see, your mom and I, we're getting married tomorrow. What do you say you give her away? Keep her company walking down the aisle? What's that?"

Julian looked up at Brooke, who had closed her eyes and was listening to him talk to the baby with a single tear running down her cheek.

J: "She says she'd love to. Or he, I couldn't quite make out the gender yet."

Julian slowly stood up and for the first time put his excitement on hold and realized that Brooke had been silent the whole time.

J: "You ok?"

Brooke placed her right hand on his face and hugged him. Over his shoulder she whispered in his ear.

B: "You are going to be an amazing father."

And, she thought to herself…someday. Brooke froze in that hug. The words to make it right escaped her. She knew exactly what she had to do, but she couldn't. She just couldn't tell him. Not then, not like this. Not after everything he just told her. Not after everything he had meant to her. So, parting from him, she let her arms fall and grabbing his hand, she simply walked back into the house with her fiancé. She chose to give him a few more precious happy hours up on that could nine, before the truth would painfully yank him down to earth…even if it meant she had to break her promise to Hayley.

What she didn't realize was that by keeping this one door ajar just a bit longer, she might have closed another one shut. She didn't know that they hadn't been alone in that garden. Lucas had spent the morning pacing back and forth in his room debating whether he should leave unseen or go see Brooke one last time as he promised Hayley the night before. When Karen called to say they were sailing the yacht over to the island to hand it over to him for his journey up the coast, he grabbed his bags and left for the pier. On his way through the gardens, he saw Broke and Julian, and he had his answer. They were hand in hand, kissing…his head on her stomach, he was talking to their baby…she was crying happy tears and hugging him...they were holding hands, walking back to the house. Believing what he saw to be the meant-to-be family moment, he walked away unseen. He was determined to never interfere with the happiness Brooke deserved…even if it meant he had to break his promise to Hayley.

While Brooke and Julian were having a late breakfast with their extended families, Lucas was at the yacht saying goodbye to Andy, Karen, and his sister. While Brooke stared at her exhausted reflection in the bathroom mirror for answers, Lucas was unpacking his bags in the cabin below deck. While Millie called for the wedding party to gather in the gardens for the rehearsal, Lucas was performing final checks before setting sail. And, while Brooke frantically searched for Hayley in the house, Lucas was standing on deck staring back at the island, to the crowd slowly gathering in the garden. When she finally came down the stairs with her husband, Hayley couldn't have known the role she would be playing that day.

Brooke: "Hayley. Thank God. I need you."  
Being dragged away from Nathan and into the kitchen, Hayley could see the desperation all over Brooke's face.

Hayley: "Have you talked to him?"

Brooke: "I need your help."

H: "What happened?"

Brooke didn't have time to explain why she was unable to keep her promise.

B: "I need you to stop Lucas."

H: "You haven't told him, have you?"

B: "Listen to me. You have to stop Lucas. Bring him back here. He can't leave before I talk to him."

H: "Where is he?"

B: "I don't know. I haven't seen him all morning."

H: "Ok. I'll find him."

B: "Go."

Hayley had just begun to walk away when Brooke called for her.

B: "Please don't let him leave."

H: "I won't."

Leaving Brooke behind in the kitchen, Hayley ran out. As she went up to Lucas's room to find it empty, Millie came to the kitchen to escort Brooke out to the gardens to join the rest of the wedding party. Brooke was taking her place behind her bridesmaids at the end of the aisle when Hayley approached Karen who told her Lucas was already aboard the yacht at the pier preparing to leave. While Sam asked Brooke where her missing bridesmaid Hayley was, Brooke and Hayley's eyes met across the crowd and she nodded her head slightly to tell her friend to run as fast as she could. And Hayley did exactly that. When she reached the pier, Brooke was walking down the aisle with all eyes turned on her. As Brooke reached the gazebo and took Julian's hand, Hayley boarded the yacht yelling for Lucas.

Hayley: "Luke! Luke! Where are you?"

Hayley went below deck and kept calling for her friend.

Lucas: "Hayley? Easy. I can hear you."

Breathless from the run, Hayley could barely speak.

L: "It's ok. Here. Sit down. What's going on?"

H: "You promised."

L: "That's what this is about?"

H: "Since when do you break your promises?"

L: "This one had to be broken. Believe me, it's better that way. For everyone."

H: "No it isn't. This isn't good for anyone. Especially not you. Come back with me."

L: "I'm leaving."

H: "Over my dead body."

Lucas was getting annoyed. He appreciated that her friend was trying to watch out for him, but the hopeless romantic in her had to recognize when it was time to quit. So he stood up and turned away from her.

L: "I can't do what you're asking me to do. I'm not going to watch her marry someone else."

H: "If you would stop being so stubborn…"

L: "That's enough, Hales. I'm done. For God's sake, she chose him, more than once. She's pregnant with his child."

Hayley thought it was time for last resorts. She hadn't wanted to be the one to break the news, but she needed additional force against this immovable object.

H: "That's just it Luke. It's your child."

Hayley saw that Lucas froze, but he didn't turn around to face her for a while. When he did, he looked right into her eyes trying to figure out if it was the truth or another ploy to make him stay.

L: "If this is a joke, I'm not getting it."

H: "No joke, just the truth. Brooke's pregnant with your child."

L: "If it's not true, if you're somehow wrong or mistaken, it would be the cruellest thing you could do to me."

H: "No mistakes, no lies. Brooke told me everything. She sent me here to stop you."

Without a moment's pause, Lucas did the only thing he could do…he ran. With Hayley behind him, he ran out of the yacht, onto the pier and across the beach. He stopped running only when he reached the garden where the wedding rehearsal was taking place. As Hayley caught up to him and held onto his arm, he heard the minister.

Minister: "And tomorrow, this is when I will pronounce you husband and wife."

Julian: "Can we get to the kissing part?"

Minister: "And you may kiss the bride."

Against deafening applause and whistles from the wedding party, Julian leaned down and kissed Brooke…and all Lucas could do was to watch this so-called rehearsal for his worst nightmare unfold before his eyes.

_And give me silence, give me water, hope.  
__Give me the struggle, the iron, the volcanoes.  
__Let bodies cling like magnets to my body.  
__Come quickly to my veins and to my mouth.  
__Speak through my speech, and through my blood.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	15. Whoever Desired Each Other As We Do

Every instinct Lucas had told him to scream from the top of his lungs that this was all wrong and run up to Brooke, throw her over his shoulder and take off. When his body began to obey his instincts' orders, he felt Hayley's hand dig deeper into his arm to hold him back.

Hayley: "Don't. Not now."

So, he stopped. Not taking his eyes off Brooke for one second, he heard Julian invite everyone up to the terrace for cocktails before the dinner would be served. While Julian's groomsmen approached him with congratulatory hugs and pats on the back, Brooke finally found a moment alone to search the crowd for Hayley. That was when their eyes met for the first time. Brooke breathed a sigh of relief that he was still there and smiled at him. Before she could figure out whether it was anger or panic on his face looking back at her, she felt arms around her shoulders as Sam and Millie led her upstairs. Unable to free his arm from Hayley's tight grip, Lucas pleaded with his friend.

Lucas: "Hayley, let me go."

Hayley: "Wait, just one second. What are you going to do?"

L: "What do you think?"

H: "Stay here. I will bring her to you."

An impatient Lucas looked over at the wedding party walking up the stairs to the terrace.

L: "I can't wait. I have to talk to her now."

H: "If you approach her, in the state you are in right now, in the middle of that crowd, you are going to make a scene."

L: "I don't care."

H: "Luke, please. I will bring her here so you two can talk away from everyone. Wait here. Please."

Trusting that, at that moment, Hayley had better judgment than him, Lucas nodded his head in agreement. As Hayley began to walk away, he cautioned her that he would not be patient forever.

L: "If you're not back in 10 minutes, I'm going up there myself."

Lucas tried to calm himself down, but seeing only the aisle Brooke was to walk down on and the gazebo she would take her vows at tomorrow made it almost impossible to do so. While he paced back and forth in the garden, Hayley was doing her best trying to steal Brooke away from what seemed like a million people trying to get her attention. While Julian's cousins were telling stories of the bachelor party in Vegas, Hayley sneaked in closer and whispered to Brooke.

H: "Brooke, I need to talk to you."

B: "In a second."

H: "No, right now."

When Brooke looked at her, she knew Hayley meant it. She excused herself and walked away from the crowd.

H: "Lucas is waiting for you. You have to go now."

B: "I can't leave now. Tell him to come up."

H: "Oh, you do not want that."

B: "Why?"

H: "I had to tell him."

Brooke hadn't thought it was possible, but she felt her heart sink even lower. This was not how he was supposed to find out. She wanted to be the one to tell him.

B: "How much did you tell him?"

H: "Everything. I'm sorry, but I couldn't stop him any other way."

B: "Where is he?"

H: "Down there, in the garden. Brooke, he saw the end of the rehearsal."

Brooke knew then that it had been anger that she saw on Lucas's face earlier...justifiable anger at that.

B: "Cover for me with Julian?"

H: "Ok."

With one last look at her fiancé laughing and having a great time, Brooke started walking towards the stairs. She turned around when she realized she forgot something.

B: "Hayley? Thank you. Thank you for bringing him back to me."

As she practically ran down the stairs, she saw Lucas hurriedly walk towards her. Brooke had no idea what she would say to explain, how she would make him understand why she lied. When they met at the bottom of the stairs, both breathless, they simply looked at each other without a word. Brooke took his hand and tried to lead him further into the garden for more privacy. She stopped a few steps in when she felt him yank his hand away. She turned to look at him and all she saw was pure anger looking back at her.

Lucas: "We can fly to the moon, but the truth will still be the truth."

Brooke: "I know."

L: "No more running. Tell me. Right here, right now."

B: "You already know."

L: "I want to hear it from you."

Brooke looked down for a moment gathering the strength to do what she had to do. When she looked back up at him again, it was time to leave behind all the lies, the false pretences, and the fast disintegrating make-believes.

B: "I am pregnant...with your child."

And with the truth, she felt her heart lighten in her chest and her breath travel more freely in her lungs. The weight was somehow transferred over to Lucas. A part of him wanted to lift her and their baby up in his arms whisking them away to their own version of happily ever after. The other part wanted her to experience the kind of pain she had been putting him through, to punish her, to take away everything, leaving not a trace of his love behind.

L: "You lied."

B: "Yes."

L: "Why?"

Brooke saw the search in his eyes and knew he deserved an answer. But, she didn't know if the answers she had would hurt him more than not knowing. What was the alternative? Could she let him go, keep hating her? That was when the tears came, so she bit her lip and looked away.

L: "Because the truth is ugly? Because you don't want to hurt him? Because you actually want your lie to be the truth? You wanted Julian to be the father, didn't you? Better yet, you wish there was no baby ruining your perfect little house of cards."

Not believing what she had just heard, Brooke slapped him hard enough to make him stumble back a step and reach for his cheek in pain.

B: "Don't you dare! Don't you ever say that about this baby."

Her fury at Lucas's claim was enough to replace her tears with enough courage and strength to walk away from him. Realizing he was out of line, Lucas grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving.

L: "Brooke, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. God, I would never..."  
B: "You can hate me all you want. Call me names, do whatever you can to hurt me. I deserve it. I don't expect you to forgive me. But don't think for one second that I wish this baby, our child, did not exist...that I don't believe with every fibre of my being that he is the best thing that has ever happened to me...that I don't feel in my bones that, for the rest of my life, my only mission is to love and protect him."

Wishing there was a way he could take back his words and not knowing how else to apologize, Lucas simply hugged her. And, she let him, only briefly, until she parted from him.

B: "If I have to, I will protect him from you, too."

He could see the determination on her face, but couldn't comprehend why she perceived him as a threat. Did she not know she would never have to protect their child from him? Or was she already trying to do just that?

L: "Is that why you lied?"

Brooke took a few steps away from him and looking out into the ocean, she folded her arms over her abdomen.

L: "You think Julian is the safe choice...the better husband, the better father?"

B: "I know you are an amazing father. I've seen it first-hand too many times to count. But, Lucas, this isn't the family you have always wanted. God, don't you think that I'd give anything for it to be so? But you see, it is the family Julian wants. This isn't about who the better husband or the better father is. It's about who the reliable one is...the one who will be here years from now and all the years in between...the one who wants to be here and nowhere else...the one who will never leave. That's not you. So, it doesn't matter what I want. Yes, I lied. I lied to give our child the best life I could."

Lucas wanted to tell her that the best life for their child was one the two of them would build together. He wanted to tell her that he would be there every day, that he wanted to be there, he would never leave her or this child they created together. He wanted to hold her in his arms and make sure she understood that nothing that came before mattered, that unbreakable chains tied them to each other from that moment on. He didn't get the chance.

Julian: "There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. Hey Luke."

They were startled at first and Brooke recovered faster than Lucas.

Brooke: "Hi. I wanted to get some air and ran into Luke."

J: "Are you ok? Nausea?"

B: "I'm good now."

J: "Thanks for taking care of her Luke."

Julian extended his hand for Luke to shake. It took a few seconds for Lucas to react but he responded in kind.

J: "We're about to sit down for dinner. Let's go."

B: "Yes. I don't want to miss the toasts."

J: "Luke, are you coming?

L: "I'll be up there in a few."

Without looking back, Brooke took Julian's arm and left Lucas behind. He sat alone in the garden wondering how he was going to convince Brooke that she was wrong about him and whether he was even going to have the opportunity to do so before she would say "_I do" _the next day. When Brooke returned with Julian, and without Lucas, Hayley began to worry. Noticing Hayley's discomfort, Karen asked whether anything was wrong.

Hayley: "I'm not sure."

Karen: "Is it about Lucas? You still haven't told me why you were looking for him this morning."

H: "He needs our help."

K: "What happened Hayley? Is my son still here?"

H: "I think he might be in the garden."

Pre-empting Hayley's request, Karen stood up right away to go check on her son. Hayley caught Brooke's eyes and they both watched Karen run out. Before Brooke could go over to Hayley's table, Julian took her hand.

Julian: "You're not going anywhere. Rest, come on. Sit down for a minute. Everything else can wait."

So she obliged. As the drinks were refreshed and the appetizers were served on the terrace, Karen found his son exactly where Hayley said he would be. Lucas was sitting alone in one of chairs set up for the wedding staring at the gazebo where Brooke would be married soon.

Karen: "Lucas? I thought you left this morning."

He kept his gaze on the gazebo while he replied.

Lucas: "I couldn't."

Taking a seat next to him, Karen tried to read his son's face.

K: "Are you all right? What's going on?"

L: "Mom, Brooke's pregnant."

K: "Oh. Well, that's incredible. I'm happy for her. She's...wait, this is why you're so sad? Listen, I'm sorry. I know you were hoping..."

L: "It's mine."

K: "What?"

L: "It's my child."

K: "You sure?"

L: "Yes, Hayley told me this morning and Brooke just confirmed it."

K: "But when did you two...ok, that's not important right now."

L: "Brooke wants Julian to raise the child."

K: "That's nonsense."

L: "She doesn't trust me, mom. She doesn't believe it when I say I love her. She doesn't think I'll stick around. Just a few minutes ago, right here, she looked straight at me and said that the best life she can give our child is with Julian."

K: "She doesn't believe that. She's scared, that's all."

L: "I don't know what to do. I don't know how to change her mind."

K: "Give her time."

Lucas stood up in frustration. Opening his arms wide, he pointed to the wedding set up they were smack in the middle of.

L: "How? Do you see where we are? In less than 24 hours, she'll be Mrs. Julian Baker. I don't have time."

K: "I know you want to be with Brooke, but maybe it's time to accept that you may not be able to stop the wedding."

Shaking his head, Lucas looked away.

L: "I can't accept that."

K: "You need to focus on the baby. What you can do is make sure you don't lose your child. Make sure that she doesn't grow up knowing someone else as her father. Make sure that she knows you love her and will always be there for her."

L: "How do I do that?"

K: "Give Brooke the space she needs. Show her that you'll be here for as long as it takes. Tell her how you feel, without ultimatums. Let her make her own decisions, without pushing. That's all you can do."

With a deep exhale, Lucas dropped his shoulders and sat back down next to Karen.

L: "I haven't even had a chance to be happy about this. I'm going to be a father again. Instead of celebrating, all I've been able to do is brood."

K: "Well, we're all good at something."

Karen put her arm around her son's shoulders and smiled at him.

K: "A baby. So, you're determined to make sure the grandma title sticks."

Lucas placed his head on her mom's shoulder.

L: "Sawyer's going to have a little baby sister or brother. She'll love that."

K: "Talk to her, Luke. You'll see. It's going to be ok."

L: "It has to be."

The mother and son duo held onto each other as they got up. Lucas stared at the house for a moment trying to prepare himself to face what was inside.

K: "Come on, let's go."

As they made their way into the dining room, all eyes were on Julian who had gotten up to make a toast of his own for the night.

Julian: "Hi everybody. Can I have your attention please? Yes, you too, Mouth. Back away from the alcohol, just for a minute. That's it. Thank you. All right. First of all, thank you all so much for coming to share this day with us. There are a lot you who made it all possible and you know who you are. But, this evening, I'd like to toast to a very special woman. The woman who captured my heart a long time ago and somehow manages to make me fall deeper in love with her every day. Today was no exception. Today, she gave me the greatest news I've ever been given."

That was when Brooke realized that Julian was about to announce they were pregnant. Shifting uncomfortably in her chair, she looked at Hayley for help. But, nothing could stop Julian's moment.

J: "This morning, my fiancé, the beautiful Brooke Davis, told me that we're having an unexpected guest at the wedding. Ladies and gentlemen, let's raise our glasses to this miracle, a blessing...our child. We're pregnant!"

Among shocked applause and congratulations, Julian took Brooke's hand and helped her stand up. Disguising her panic behind a smile pasted on for the crowd, Brooke whispered to Julian.

Brooke: "I can't believe you did this."

J: "Everyone's happy for us. Look."

B: "You shouldn't have done that."

Then, she saw Lucas staring at her and her smile was gone. Finding the fake celebration too painful, Lucas downed his drink in one gulp and left out the terrace doors in a hurry. Hayley got up to follow him, but believing her son needed time alone, Karen stopped her. Brooke bit her time while, one by one, almost everybody congratulated her. She wasn't even sure if she said anything back to any of them. Her mind was out on the terrace with Lucas. When the commotion cooled down, she told Julian she had to get some air and excused herself. She found him out on the terrace, both hands tightly gripping the railing, staring out into the ocean. She slowly walked up next to him and let her back lean on the railing facing away from Lucas.

Brooke: "Hi."

Lucas: "Hi."

B: "I'm sorry. I didn't know Julian was going to do that. Believe me, I wouldn't have let him, if I had known."

L: "He didn't do anything I wouldn't have done in his position."

B: "Thank you for not saying anything. I'm sure you wanted to."

L: "There are a lot of things I want to say, but none are to him. They're all meant for you."

Brooke turned towards him and prepared herself for what was meant for her.

B: "Ok. I'm here and I'll listen."

Lucas loosened his grip on the railing and turned around to face her.

L: "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said earlier in the garden. I'm sorry for pushing you before you were ready. I'm sorry for everything I've done that led us to this place where you feel you have to build such high walls around to protect yourself...from me. I never wanted that for you, for us."

B: "Lucas, you don't have to..."

L: "Please, let me say this. I've made a lot of mistakes, a lot of wrong calls. I know I don't have the right to ask you for anything. When I say I love you, and I do, it's not because I can't have you. It's not a fleeing, temporary desire. It really has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the incredible woman you are. You've seen me at my best and my worst. You probably understand who I am with greater clarity than anyone else in my life. But you are wrong about something."

B: "I am?"

L: "I will never leave you. You can tell me to stop or go away. If you're confused, you can take all the time you need...because I'll wait as long as it takes. When you're ready, you'll turn around and see me. I'll still be here. Do you hear me? I'm not going anywhere."

Lucas saw that Brooke couldn't hold back her tears. He felt in the pit of his stomach and saw deep in her eyes, that, maybe for the first time, she was beginning to believe him. He took a step forward and reached out his hand touching her stomach.

L: "You, me, Sawyer, and our child...I want that. So much. This thing here, I want you to know I am all in."

Brooke wiped her tears with one hand while placing the other on her stomach over his hand.

L: "You and are, Brooke Davis, we will forever be tangled up in each other. I wouldn't have it any other way. So, you take the night and think about it. Tomorrow, when you wake up...if you still want to marry him, I'll respect it. But, if you decide you're ready for us, I'll be waiting for you at the yacht. I'll be there all day. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."

Lucas slowly moved his hand from her stomach to her face. Pulling her closer by the neck, he sealed his promise with a kiss. That's when he felt someone pull him away by the shoulder and punch him down to the terrace floor.

Julian: "Stay away from my fiancé!"

_Whoever desired each other as we do?  
__Let us look for the ancient ashes of hearts that burned,  
__and let our kisses touch there, one by one,  
__till the flower, disembodied, rises again.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	16. Without Complexities or Pride

Brooke had barely seen someone approach them. Before she could figure out who it was, she saw in slow motion Lucas fall on the floor. She looked back and found a furious Julian prepare for a second punch. She quickly stepped in between him and Lucas who was still down on the terrace floor trying to rub the pain off his chin. Facing her fiancé, she extended her arms to stop him from coming forward.

Brooke: "What are you doing?"

Julian: "I saw him...the kiss."

B: "Stop this. Right now."

When Julian backed down, she kneeled down next to Lucas and helped him get up.

B: "Are you ok? Can you get up?"

L: "I'm fine."

B: "You should put some ice on it."

When Lucas was finally standing up, Brooke turned her attention to Julian.

B: "What is wrong with you? Acting like a bully? Punching people like a Neanderthal? This isn't you."

J: "Brooke, I'm sorry, but what else was I supposed to do? He was kissing you, the night before our wedding...that's all the provocation I need."

L: "You won't get another shot."

Brooke knew that before they would go at each other's throats again, she had to separate them.

B: "Quiet, both of you. Lucas, you have to go."

L: "I'm not leaving you alone with him."

J: "That's it. Where do you get off?"

B: "Lucas, please. I need to talk to Julian, and you have to go."

L: "If you touch her..."

J: "Do you actually think I'll raise a hand to my pregnant fiancé? Get the hell out of here."

B: "I'll be fine. Please. Go."

L: "Don't forget what I told you. Tomorrow."

When Nathan and Hayley approached them, the three of them realized that the altercation had brought almost everyone out to the terrace.

Nathan: "Come on Luke, let's go. Walk it off."

As Nathan dragged his brother away and down the stairs, Lucas was still looking back wondering if he should have stayed. He saw Hayley telling everyone that the show was over and that they should all go back inside. Just before Nathan pulled him out of sight, he heard Hayley ask Brooke if she was okay.

N: "What did you do, man?"

L: "He walked in on us kissing."

N: "Then you deserved it."

L: "I know."

Lucas stopped and looked back at the terrace.

L: "You think I should go back?"

N: "She'll be fine."

L: "You don't get it. He's going to be mad."

N: "Well, judging by the punch, the anger is directed at you."

L: "She's probably telling him right now."

N: "Telling him what?"

Lucas was surprised that Hayley had kept the news a secret.

L: "Hayley didn't tell you?"

N: "She's been acting strange lately so I asked, but she said she couldn't tell me. What's going on?"

L: "The baby, Nathan...it's mine."

Nathan thought he should not have been surprised, but he couldn't help it anyway.

N: "Wow. I did not see that coming. Um...congratulations."

Lucas smiled when his brother tried to follow up on his hesitant congratulations with a pat on the back.

L: "Thanks. In the drama and shock of it all, you're actually the first to say it."

The brothers started walking across the beach towards the pier.

N: "So, this is why you're here? Why you got punched out?"

L: "Not exactly. I only found out this morning, and I think Brooke is telling Julian right now."

N: "But you're happy about it, right?

L: "Yeah, I am. I'm really happy about it."

N: "You know I like being an uncle. Maybe you'll let me see this one more often?"

L: "We'll see."

Lucas was laughing for the first time in a long while. They were silent as they approached the yacht docked at the end of the pier.

N: "What are you going to do?"

L: "I'm going to wait."

N: "For?"

L: "Brooke to wake up. I'm going to wait as long as it takes. I made her a promise and this time, I'm going to keep it. I love her, and even though she's too stubborn to admit it, I know she loves me."

Nathan smiled and looked away remembering something Lucas had told him a long time ago.

N: "Remember when Hayley first returned from New York, back in senior year? You told me to trust that she wasn't going to go away again, that we would work things out because we loved each other. I was in no shape to hear you then, but you were right. And you're right, now. Brooke will see it too."

As Scott brothers were saying goodnight on the pier, Julian and Brooke were finally alone on the terrace. Unable to contain his frustration, Julian was walking back and forth.

J: "I can't believe the nerve on that guy. Right here, a few feet away from our wedding party. And, when he gets caught, he throws around so much attitude."

B: "I'm sorry, Julian."

J: "It's not your fault. This is what he does. It's who he is. Selfish, arrogant jackass. God, I can't believe he was kissing you."

B: "I'm so sorry."

Julian got closer and reached out with both hands to hold hers.

J: "Stop saying that. You didn't do anything wrong."

B: "I kissed him back."

Julian dropped her hands and took a step back. Brooke watched confusion and disappointment replace anger on his face.

J: "You kissed him back? Why?"

This was it...the moment when she would shatter his heart with the truth had arrived. Brooke looked straight into his eyes, but hesitated for a few seconds.

J: "Tell me why, Brooke? Was it a goodbye kiss? Did you get caught up? Did you think it was me? None of this makes any sense."

Brooke closed her eyes and took a deep breath preparing herself...because she knew that when she would open her eyes, she would have to come clean about everything. There was no use prolonging the inevitable, there was no way to soften the blow. She would begin with the worst and the rest would just follow.

B: "The baby...Lucas is the father."

She saw a wave of calm come over him. It was as if an invisible arrow had hit its target, right through his heart, taking away with it any trace of life...no anger, no sadness, nothing.

B: "I'm sorry."

J: "Sorry? You don't have anything better planned? You had enough time to prepare some sort of a speech, didn't you?"

Brooke knew he deserved better than her useless apologies, but nothing she could say would make it right.

B: "Everything I thought about saying to you seems meaningless right now."

J: "I played my role pretty damn well, didn't I?"

B: "Your role?"

J: "The trusting fool. The blind idiot. The temporary replacement."

B: "You weren't the fool. You never were. If anyone was a fool, it was me."

The calm had disappeared and fury had returned. Julian was beginning to realize that the role he thought he had been playing was far from the one that was chosen for him.

J: "You called, I came running. You cried, I mopped up the tears. You needed a man's arms around you and the one you really wanted wasn't available, so this fool stepped up and volunteered his."

B: "I know you hate me, and I understand that."

Julian held out his hand and motioned for her to stop.

J: "You're right. Nothing you say right now means anything."

Brooke let her head down and closed her eyes.

B: "If I could take it all back..."

J: "How long? How long have you been lying to me? How long have you been letting me walk around this town with people laughing at me, or worse, feeling sorry for me?"

B: "It only happened once. Six weeks ago when you were out of the country."

J: "I left you alone for a second, and you got in bed with Lucas Scott. Of course, it's all my fault. What was I thinking?"

B: "No, that's not what I..."

J: "How many people know? Hayley?"

B: "Yes."

J: "Millie?"

Brooke nodded her head in agreement.

J: "But, you didn't have the decency to tell me? God, you must think so little of me."

Shaking her head no, Brooke got closer to him.

B: "Just the opposite. I didn't tell you because I was confused. I was afraid. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't tell you, because I care about you."

J: "Or you're just lying to yourself."

They were both silent for a while. Then, Julian moved in with the intensity of a final farewell, hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head. Holding her face with both hands, he looked straight into her eyes.

J: "The damnest thing is I already miss you."

And, he walked away, leaving Brooke alone, crying. Could someone be drained of all emotion, but yet feel everything all at once? As she felt her knees weaken and looked for anything to hold onto, Millie came running to her rescue. She caught Brooke before she hit the ground and helped her to a nearby bench. Handing her a napkin she had brought from inside, Millie tried to comfort her friend.

Millie: "Brooke, it's going to be ok."

Unable to find comfort in anything, Brooke kept crying.

M: "You told him, didn't you?"

B: "I had to tell him."

M: "He'll be back."

B: "He hates me. I don't blame him. He's never coming back."

Millie put her arm around Brooke's shoulders and held her tight.

M: "Brooke, listen to me. You need to think about your baby now. Nothing else matters. This cannot be good for the baby. You have to get it together for her sake. You take care of this little one, and everything else will take care of itself. You hear me? It's all going to work out. I promise."

Millie assisted a stoic Brooke up to her room. Brooke asked her to sit with her and they sat next to each other on the bed, quietly, for what felt like hours. Staring at her wedding dress on the mannequin, Brooke broke the silence.

B: "There's not going to be a wedding tomorrow."

M: "You don't know that."

B: "I do. I hurt him. So much. It's too much to forgive. He's gone, Millie."

M: "Do you want him to come back?"

Brooke looked at her friend and Millie could tell there was someone else she was thinking about.

B: "Lucas said he'll always be here...waiting."

M: "Waiting for what?"

B: "Me. He said he loves me...that he is not going to leave me. He's not going to leave our child."

M: "Brooke, who do you want to be with? Julian or Lucas?"

Looking straight at her friend, Brooke didn't answer. Millie couldn't tell if the silence meant that she was pondering the question or revelling in the realization that she had known the answer all along. Before Brooke could answer, they heard a knock on the door.

B: "I don't want to see anyone. Can you please get rid of whoever it is?

Millie got up to answer the door and when she opened, she found Julian.

J: "Is Brooke here? I need to talk to her."

Keeping the door closed behind her, Millie was not sure if she should make an exception for this visitor.

M: "Um...Julian, she's in no shape for a confrontation right now."

Hearing Julian's voice, Brooke came to the door.

B: "Julian? Is that you?"

J: "Hey."

B: "Millie, can you give us a minute?"

Millie was too concerned to leave them alone, but she could tell Brooke meant it.

M: "Ok, but I'll be right next door if you need me."

B: "Thank you."

When Millie left, Brooke invited Julian into her room followed by a few moments of awkward silence. Brooke was overwhelmed that he had come back, and he was trying to decide where to begin.

B: "I didn't think you'd come back."

J: "I've been walking around since I left you...thinking...about everything."

B: "I'm sorry."

J: "Just let me get through this, ok?"

Brooke nodded her head and sat down on the bed, prepared to listen to him in silence.

J: "I am not going to lie. What you did...you hurt me. You were the one person I trusted with everything, with my life, and you betrayed that trust. The irony is, after everything, you're still that person for me. You and this baby, you're still my family. I want to forgive you. I want us to get past this. People do it. If we work really hard at it, I know we can get past it. I don't want to miss you, Brooke. You're right here; I don't have to miss you. I want us to start a brand new life, together, leaving all this mess behind us for good. I want us to get married tomorrow. I want you to be my wife."

Stunned and taken aback by what she had just heard, Brooke couldn't believe it.

B: "I don't know what to say."

J: "Don't say anything now. Think about it tonight. And if you decide that you can leave the past in the past, and vow to share your future with only me, you'll find me waiting for you at the altar tomorrow."

Leaving an astounded Brooke behind, Julian headed for the door. He turned around one last time before he left.

J: "I still love you, Brooke."

Out on the deck of the yacht, a sleepless Lucas was looking back at the house, at the light from Brooke's bedroom window.

Lucas: "Goodnight, pretty girl. May it be the last one you spend without me."

_I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.  
__I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;  
__so I love you because I know no other way  
__than this: where I does not exist, nor you,  
__so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,  
__so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep_.  
_~Pablo Neruda_

_ **Author's Note: **__Julian confronts Brooke with the words originally written in 2006 by the writing team led by Lynn Marie Latham of CBS's the Young and the Restless._


	17. Everything Carries Me to You

Nightmares woke Brooke up several times that night. She saw herself in her wedding dress walking down the aisle to an empty gazebo. She saw herself running to the pier only to find that the yacht had already sailed away without her. She saw herself years from now, stuck in a loveless marriage with a husband whose face she couldn't even recognize. And, she saw herself old and dying, full of regrets and what-ifs, alone, not even with her child by her side.

When she woke up this last time, she was glad it was not another nightmare, but Sam bringing her breakfast in bed. Sam jumped in bed with her, holding a cup of coffee and a bag of croissants.

Sam: "Get vertical Davis."

Brooke: "What time is it?"

S: "About eleven. Unless you forgot, it's kind of a big day."

Struggling to wake up, Brooke tried to hide her face under the covers.

B: "No idea what you are talking about."

S: "You know, flowers, practically everybody you know in the audience, a minister, and one hot groom?"

B: "I'd so be kicking your ass out of this bed, if you weren't holding that coffee."

Sam handed a barely awake Brooke the cup of coffee and opened the bag for her to smell the chocolate croissants.

S: "Ah, the coffee is the wedding morning gift from the hot groom to his beautiful bride. Croissants were my idea."

Brooke yanked the bag away from a resistant Sam and took her first sip of caffeine, opening her eyes a bit more.

B: "Genius. How is Julian?"

Resting their heads against the headboard, Brooke and Sam lied in bed next to each other.

S: "Nervous wreck. As expected. He took me into town this morning for food and to catch up. He seems to think you might need me today."

Brooke looked at Sam and smiled.

B: "I need you every day, kid."

S: "So true. But if there was anything going on, you'd tell me, right?"

Brooke was silent for a moment. She put her food and coffee on the nightstand and sat up, facing Sam.

B: "There's nothing you should worry about."

S: "You know how much I like Julian. He is a great guy, and he was good to me. But I love you. What makes you happy, makes me happy."

Brooke hugged Sam and told her she loved her too.

S: "So...pregnant and not even married. You're my idol."

Brooke softly hit Sam's shoulder with the back of her hand.

B: "What I said about loving you, I take it back."

S: "Too late."

B: "Get out of here."

Brooke got up and grabbed her coffee off the nightstand. She went over to the window to open her curtains, letting the late morning sunshine in.

S: "I have better things to do than hang out with you anyway."

Staring out the window, Brooke was quiet. She was looking at the yacht at the pier in the distance.

S: "Bye, Brooke. Call me if you need help getting ready. We both know you suck at hair and make-up."

Laughing, Brooke turned around. She picked up a pillow off her bed and gently threw it at Sam.

B: "Have I not kicked you out already?"

S: "All right, all right. Calm down, bridezilla. I'm out."

Smiling, Brooke watched Sam leave only to pop her head in one last time.

S: "Love ya."

When Sam left, Brooke's smile gradually disappeared. She put her coffee down and walked to the bathroom. She turned the shower on and slowly the mist and steam filled up the air. She was pretending it was any other day. As if on auto pilot, she would follow her regular routine. She brushed her teeth, washed her face, and let her hair down. Taking a shower, she stood motionless under the hot water, letting it wash away the tears of her past. Wrapped in her towel, she dried her hair in waves and pulled it back into a loose bun at the nape. Then, she began to put her make-up on. First the foundation, then eyeliner and blush. The final touch was her signature red lipstick. When old Hollywood glamour stared back at her in the mirror, her job was done. It was someone else she was helping get ready. All of this was happening to another lucky woman, deliriously happy on her wedding day...not Brooke. When she heard a knock on her door, she put her robe on and walked over to answer it. It was Karen.

Karen: "Hey. Can we talk?"

Brooke: "Sure, come on in."

Karen noticed that Brooke had been styling her hair and putting on her make-up. When she walked in the room, she saw the wedding dress on the mannequin , making her feel even more uncomfortable than she already did about what she had come there to say. She hesitated for a brief moment and changed her mind.

K: "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here."

Seeing that Karen was about to walk out, Brooke stopped her.

B: "Karen, please stay. Anything you want to say, I want to hear it."

Karen turned around at the door to face her.

K: "I'm not sure you do."

B: "Come here. Sit down with me."

Brooke took her arm and led her to the bed. Sitting next to her, she smiled at Karen.

B: "Don't tell Victoria this, but there was a time when you were more of a parent to me than my own parents have been. We may not have seen each other for a while, but I still see you that way."

K: "That's good, considering you're carrying my grandchild."

Brooke thought she should have known his son would have shared the news with Karen by now, but somehow she was still surprised by the words...Karen's grandchild.

B: "You talked to Lucas."

K: "Yes. And, I'm guessing last night's commotion was about Julian finding out."

Brooke nodded her head in agreement.

K: "But, you look like you're getting ready for a wedding."

B: "He still wants to marry me."

K: "And you still want to marry him?"

B: "Julian is a wonderful man. I would be lucky to be his wife."

Brooke looked away first, then, she got up to get closer to her wedding dress. Her hand traced the lace neckline and adjusted the silk skirt draped on the floor. She was quiet.

K: "You might think I'm out of line and I probably am, but I'm going to say this anyway."

Karen stood up and approached Brooke, who looked back at her.

K: "I don't know how you feel about my son, but I know Lucas loves you. The fact that you are carrying his child tells me you may have feelings for him too. Marriage is a tough road. It takes a lot of hard work, even in the best of circumstances when two people give themselves to each other completely. But, when it's built on shaky ground to begin with, it doesn't stand a chance. I know you want to give this child the best life you can. Don't let whatever is holding you back stop you from doing just that."

Karen was not expecting an answer. She simply hugged Brooke and walked away. Before she left, she turned back one last time.

K: "When I asked you if you still wanted to marry him, you didn't say yes."

Karen left Brooke alone, staring at her wedding dress, pondering her words. She slowly untied her robe and let it fall on the floor. She took the dress off the mannequin and put it on. Zipping up the back herself, she stood, head down, eyes closed, both hands touching the silk skirt. And when she raised her head and opened her eyes, she was faced with the harsh reality of her reflection in the full-length mirror. She took a step forward, hoping that maybe if she got closer, she'd find some meaning in that reflection. When the sight became too painful, she closed her eyes again and let her head fall back. Then a smile came across her lips, and she found herself in a pleasant daydream.

_Her eyes were closed but she felt him approach from behind and place his left arm around her waist. He held her right hand with fingers intertwined, and kissed the side of her neck, just behind her right ear. Too content, she did not even care that he was seeing her in her wedding dress. She opened her eyes and saw that he was dressed in a sharp, black tuxedo, looking more handsome than ever. She said with a smile: "Hi fiancé." And, he said with that sexy voice: "I missed you last night. I couldn't wait any longer." She turned around to face him: "We have the rest of our lives together, you won't ever have to miss me again." His arms wrapped tight around her waist and her hands gently holding his face, he leaned down and kissed her. Placing his forehead on hers, he whispered: "I couldn't pass up the chance for one last illicit kiss." Her eyes still closed, she smiled: "I love you." And, he responded in kind: "I love you, too." She didn't want to let go, but it was time: "You should go. Everyone's waiting for us." He sighed and slowly parted from her: "I'll be the one with the silly grin waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Hurry." As she watched him unwillingly leave, she felt confident that she was exactly where she needed to be. With her whole heart, body and soul, she was where she belonged. She called for him one last time: "I can't wait to become Mrs. Lucas Scott."_

Brooke slowly opened her eyes and looked at herself in the mirror. She saw that she was still sporting the same smile from her dream...the content, fulfilled, confident smile. And, all of a sudden, her reflection began to make sense. Brooke knew exactly what she had to do. She turned towards the door to take action, but Millie and Victoria were standing in the way.

Millie: "We've been knocking on the door. Did you not hear us?"

Victoria: "God knows what she's daydreaming about this time."

M: "Brooke, my God. You look beautiful. Brooke? Are you ok?"

Brooke was quietly staring at them, with a smile they could not quiet place. She picked up with both hands the skirt of her dress and started walking past them.

Brooke: "I have to go."

Victoria grabbed her arm and stopped her.

V: "No, no, no. You're not going anywhere."

B: "Mom, can we do this later? I really have to go."

M: "We can come back later."

V: "No, this can't wait. Give us a few minutes and we'll get out of your way. Ok?"

B: "Ok. What's up?"

M: "We have something for you. Well, two things. Here's the first."

An excited Millie handed Brooke a small box and asked her to unwrap it. Inside it was a white lace bridal garter with a blue ribbon around it. When she took it out, Brooke saw that written on the ribbon was: _Brooke Davis & Julian Baker - September 10, 2011_.

M: "I thought this could be your something new and something blue."

Speechless, Brooke just looked at Millie.

M: "If you don't like it, you don't have to wear it."

B: "No, it's not that. It's perfect. Thank you."

Brooke stood up to hug Millie.

V: "Ok, my turn."

Brooke looked back at her mother not knowing what to expect. Victoria handed her another small box. When Brooke opened it, she saw the pebble drop diamond and platinum earrings she would recognize anywhere.

V: "I thought these could be your something old and something borrowed."

B: "Mom, are you sure?"

V: "My mother gave these to me on my wedding day. Someday, you can give them to your daughter."

Hugging Victoria possibly tighter than she ever had, Brooke still couldn't believe it.

B: "They are...I don't think I've ever seen anything more stunning. Thank you."

Brooke looked at the garter, then back at the earrings. She briefly closed her eyes and exhaled.

B: "Thank you. Both of you. This means so much to me, and I would have loved wearing these today. But, I can't accept them."

Millie and Victoria were both puzzled.

V: "What do you mean you can't accept them?"

Brooke closed the box with the earrings and returned it to Victoria. She then picked up the box with the garter and handed it back to Millie, who noticed that Brooke seemed at ease, maybe even lighter and more content than she had been for weeks.

B: "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

Victoria tried to stop Brooke, but Millie held her back. She had a feeling Brooke had finally made a decision.

M: "Let her go. She has to be somewhere."

V: "Where? What are you talking about?"

A perplexed Victoria and an amused Millie watched Brooke run out. She only stopped running when she reached the door at the end of the hallway. Impatiently she kept knocking on the door until Julian opened it. Seeing that she was in her wedding dress, Julian quickly covered his eyes and stepped back.

Julian: "Brooke, what are you doing?"

Brooke: "I have to talk to you."

J: "This is bad luck. I'm not supposed to see you like this before the wedding."

B: "It's ok. Open your eyes."

Brooke noticed that he already had his tux on. She reached out and moved his hand away from his face. When he opened his eyes, he somehow knew that it didn't matter.

J: "You look so beautiful."

B: "And you look very handsome."

Julian could read all over Brooke's face that she hadn't come there to tell him how handsome he looked.

J: "Tell me."

B: "I can't marry you."

_I want you to know one thing.  
__You know how this is:  
__if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch  
__of the slow autumn at my window,  
__if I touch near the fire, the impalpable ash  
__or the wrinkled body of the log,  
__everything carries me to you,  
__as if everything that exists,  
__aromas, light, metals,  
__were little boats that sail  
__toward those isles of yours that wait for me.  
__~Pablo Neruda _


	18. In My Sky at Twilight

Lucas spent the morning doing anything and everything trying to keep his mind off of Brooke. He read the yacht's operating manual, more than once; cleaned every cabin below deck until he could practically eat off of any surface; and he called his daughter letting her distract him. Slowly, the morning came and went. Unable to tire out his anxiety, he found himself out on the deck, standing on that spot where he could see Brooke's bedroom window. The pier got busy in the afternoon with the arrival of wedding crews. He could see that the preparations were in full swing in the garden. Gazebo was being decorated with candles and flowers, chairs were being placed on both sides of the aisle, and fine dinner china was being set on the tables up on the terrace. He didn't know what had happened between Julian and Brooke the night before. He didn't know exactly what she had told him about the baby or how he had reacted. But the hustle and bustle in the air told him the wedding was still on. It didn't matter. She would not go through with it. Even if it took her up until the last moment when she saw that the man she was vowing her life to was not the right one. He had made her a promise. He would be here, waiting for her, as long as it took. A familiar voice brought him back to the present.

Hayley: "Hey, it's not polite to stare."

Lucas: "Hales. I'm just..."

H: "Wondering what's happening up there?"

L: "Something like that. Come on up."

He helped Hayley come aboard and she handed him a paper bag.

H: "Have you had anything to eat today?"

Inside the bag, Lucas found a couple sandwiches and sodas.

L: "You're the best."

H: "You're already lovesick. I didn't want you to collapse out of hunger, too."

L: "Lovesick? I see, you brought a side of cheesy lines with that sandwich."

Lucas and Hayley went below deck to the kitchen to eat their lunch.

H: "You look good."

L: "Was I not supposed to?"

H: "No, that's not what I mean."

L: "You mean I'm not depressed and suicidal over the wedding preparations?"

H: "Something like that."

L: "There's not going to be a wedding today."

H: "How can you be so sure?"

L: "Trust me. Brooke's not going to be able to marry him. I know it."

H: "Luke, I'm all for hopeful optimism, but..."

L: "I'm not delusional. I just have faith. I don't know how else to explain it. She'll come to me."

Hayley hoped that her friend wasn't setting himself up for a heartbreaking disappointment. Just that morning, she had seen Julian and Sam having breakfast in town and he was laughing, happy. He didn't look like a man distraught over losing his fiancé. And, before she left the house to come see Lucas, she had run into Millie and Victoria who were knocking on Brooke's door with her wedding gifts. All signs were pointing to the wedding being on. All signs but Lucas's instincts, and he'd been right in the past, many times.

H: "I hope you're right. But even if you're not, the wedding...it doesn't have to change anything with the baby. You're still his or her father."

L: "I know. If you can't tell, you're the only worried one here."

Hayley couldn't help but smile.

H: "All this confidence...where does one buy it?"

L: "Something's never change...you're still the same smartass."

H: "But you love me anyway."

L: "I don't have a choice."

While Hayley was wondering whether his friend's faith would end up letting him down, across the beach and the gardens, in Julian's room, Brooke was proving that Lucas's faith in her was not misplaced.

Brooke: "I can't marry you."

What Julian heard contradicted what he saw before her, a woman in her wedding dress, her hair up and wearing full make-up.

Julian: "I don't understand. You look ready."

B: "That's just it. I look the part, but I don't feel it."

Julian turned away from her and with one hand on his forehead, he stared out the window.

J: "I don't get it. What did I do wrong?"

Brooke walked around him so she could see his face.

B: "Nothing. You did everything right. I want you to know something. You are one of the greatest men I know. You did what no one else could do...you took a broken me and put her back together. You forgave me for things I don't know if I'll ever have the strength to forgive myself. No one has loved me better than you."

Julian looked back at her.

J: "Yet, you can't marry me. The last three years, everything we shared...we were always meant to end up here to say goodbye?"

B: "I wish I could make it feel all right again. I wish I can stop hurting you."

J: "Then stop."

B: "I can't."

Brooke put her right hand over her heart.

B: "If this heart was mine to give, I'd give it to you. Because I know without a doubt, it would be safe with you. You would protect it with your life, forever. But, the truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago. And, I never got it back."

Julian took a step back and dropped his head. There was a relatively calm understanding in his voice.

J: "Lucas. You never got over him."

B: "I'm sorry Julian. You'll never know how sorry I am for hurting you like this. You deserve someone so much better, someone who makes you happy...happier than I ever could. I'm not her."

J: "Just go."

Her instincts kicking in, Brooke moved forward to comfort him.

B: "Julian."

Julian stepped back again and held up his hand stopping her.

J: "Please. Go."

Brooke looked her fiancé, now her ex-fiancé...she wished there was something she could say or do to take the pain away, seal it shut in a titanium box, and throw it far and deep into the bottom of the ocean, so he would never feel it, never know it. She took a step towards him and placed her right hand on his face. She reached up and kissed his cheek.

B: "Thank you. Thank you for loving me, for being you."

They looked at each other, both with tear-filled eyes, maybe for the last time.

J: "Goodbye, Brooke."

With that farewell, Brooke walked out. Closing the door behind her, she let her head and back lean against it. Eyes closed, she let a few tears escape in mourning of a life she once thought she wanted with a man whose friendship and respect she might have lost forever. She could stay there and dissect the past trying to find where her life had gone off the tracks, but didn't she already know the exact moment? The moment an insecure and hurt teenager had lied to protect herself from the boy who meant everything to her...the moment, years ago, when she had walked out telling him she had stopped missing him. She never had. Not then, not now, and never once in all the years in between. If she could travel back in time, she would return to that moment and hold him until she could not feel her arms anymore. So, she decided to do the next best thing. Seeing the door to his bedroom across the hall, she wiped the teardrops away and started walking towards her future. When her knocks went unanswered, she opened the door only to find the room empty. He was already gone. When the familiar sinking feeling started to set in, she remembered his words from the night before.

"_I'll be waiting for you at the yacht. I'll be there all day. Like I said, I'm not going anywhere."_

And a smile came across her lips...a smile at his promise that filled her up with hope. She quickly turned around and started running...down the hallway and the stairs. At the bottom of the stairs, she almost knocked over Victoria who was trying to stop her. But, there was no stopping Brooke. She ran across the living room, through the crowd of wedding guests wondering to where she was running. With a smile on and without stopping, she yelled at them to wish her good luck. While the rest were even more confused, Nathan and Millie smiled back knowing she wouldn't need luck. Under the sun about to set, Brooke kept running, barefoot and in her wedding dress, down the terrace stairs, through the garden, and across the beach. When she reached the pier, she started calling for Lucas. Back on the yacht, Hayley and Lucas were still having lunch below deck in the kitchen.

Hayley: "Do you hear that?"

Lucas: "Hear what?"

H: "Listen...I think someone's calling for you. Is that..."

L: "Brooke."

It wasn't surprise Hayley saw on Lucas's face. He had always had faith that this very moment would come. It was happiness, satisfaction, relief at the arrival of something, someone, he had been waiting for a long time. She watched him run above deck in a hurry before she followed him.

H: "Well, I'll be damned..."

Her eyes scanning the yacht for him, Brooke stood at the end of the pier calling his name. For a brief moment when she couldn't see him, she felt a suffocating terror. Had he already left? Was she too late? That was when she saw him appear from below deck. And when he saw her, he slowed down. Maybe he was taken aback by the sight of her in her wedding dress...maybe he was trying not to scare her away...maybe he was trying to soak up the memory of her before him. When their eyes met, her heart began pounding, like it was actually trying to leap out of her ribcage. Her eyes locked on his, her right hand reached for her heart attempting to contain it in her chest. Not wanting words to interrupt this perfect moment, and maybe not even needing them, Brooke just stood at the edge of the pier and Lucas stared back down at her from the edge of the yacht deck. They hadn't even noticed that Hayley had walked off the yacht onto the pier and was staring at the both of them, smiling at the fact that it seemed that nothing and no one else existed for her two friends.

H: "I'm going to go now."

As she started to walk away, she turned back when Brooke called for her.

B: "Hayley? Thank you. For this. For everything. If I could ask you for one more favor..."

H: "No need. The ceremony and the guests, right? I'll take care of it."

Thankful for friends who understood you without a need for words, Brooke smiled. Thankful for friends who figured out before it was too late where they were always meant to be, Hayley smiled back. And when she left, Brooke and Lucas were finally alone.

Feeling self-conscious all of a sudden, Brooke realized that she still looked like someone else's bride. So, she took out the pins from her hair letting the auburn curves loose in the gentle wind. Her hands reaching for the back of her dress, she unzipped it. Pushing the lace off her shoulders, she let the gown fall on the pier boards. When she stepped out, she was standing barefoot, wearing only a white strapless slip tight around her body. When Lucas made a move to join her on the pier, Brooke held up her hand stopping him.

B: "Please stay there and don't say anything. If you come near me, I'm afraid I won't be able to say any of this. Since I'm feeling a bit exposed, well, half naked, I think you should let me go first."

It took everything in him to not jump onto the pier and grab her, but he agreed to keep his distance and let her speak. Brooke took a nervous pause before she continued, looking straight at him. She felt invincible yet defenceless, wonderful and terrible, and breathless but alive, all at the same time.

B: "You are endless, Lucas Scott, you know that? Beyond any land and ocean I know. And I should know, because I swam to every shore, ran across every border trying to end you...to erase you. It didn't work. Awake, I wish you are with me. Asleep, I dream of you. No matter whom I'm with, you drift into my head. The truth is no one has hurt me as much as you. But you see this wound cuts so deep that it hasn't let me forget, for one moment, how much I love you."

Brooke saw that he was smiling. Realizing that he had finally torn down all her walls, she was ready to freely confess what had always been in her heart. She looked down for a moment...maybe it was the embarrassment of such an admission, but it didn't last long. When she looked back up at him, he still had that smile on...the smile that put her right back at ease. The rest was easy.

B: "Yes, I am in love with you Lucas Scott. The whole heart kind. And God help me, I always will be."

When she felt a tear run down her cheek, she reached for it wiping it away. Happy moments did not need tears. Not hers. Not anymore. She placed her hand on her stomach.

B: "So here I am, here we are...your child and I, asking you to take us with you wherever you go. Because at the end of the day, we want to come home to you. Because we don't want a life without you."

L: "Is it my turn yet?"

A little nervous, but still smiling, Brooke nodded her head.

L: "Get up here."

Taking Lucas's extended hand, Brooke jumped aboard. His arms tight around her waist and looking straight into her eyes, he had only one thought.

L: "What took you so long?"

B: "I'm here now."

And, he leaned down and kissed her. With that one kiss, there were no more doubts holding them back, no more chains tying them to lives apart, no more questions left unanswered, and no more regrets over words unsaid. Those few seconds were passion and freedom, and hope and devotion all wrapped up in the belief that what came next was a future together. It was a loud declaration to not only themselves, but also the universe, that they belonged to each other.

Standing side by side on the terrace, Hayley and Nathan watched Brooke and Lucas in each others' arms. Nathan looked down at his wife and smiled.

Nathan: "You did good, cupid."

Hayley: "Me? No. That's all them. Down there, that's all them, too."

Hayley pointed below to the gazebo in the gardens where Millie and Mouth were kissing, having just been announced husband and wife. When Hayley had informed the guests that there would not be a wedding, Mouth had jumped at the opportunity to propose. Hayley couldn't help but be amused when he saw among the applauding crowd Victoria flirting with Julian's father.

Nathan: "We should go down and relieve Karen from babysitting duty."

Hayley saw Karen looking up at them smiling. She was the first person Hayley had shared the reason why the wedding had been cancelled and probably the only other person who was just as happy with the end result. She had Lydia in her arms and Andy was keeping an eye on Lily and Jamie playing nearby. Hayley remembered that not everyone got what they wished for that day.

Hayley: "I haven't seen Julian anywhere. You think he'll be ok?"

Behind the house, by the cliffs, Julian sat alone...until a tall redhead approached him. They sat next to each other, silent, staring out into the ocean. Minutes later, the redhead finally introduced herself.

Rachel: "You must be Julian. I'm Rachel."

While Nathan took Hayley's hand and led her down the stairs into the garden to join the kids, Lucas was putting the yacht on autopilot to set sail. He joined Brooke on the bow deck where they sat down together. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she rested her back on his chest.

B: "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

L: "The best I ever had."

B: "I don't even have a toothbrush. I mean, nothing. Not even a piece of clothing."

Lucas leaned down and whispered in her ear.

L: "That's perfect because where we're going, we don't need clothes."

Amused, she looked up at him and smiled.

B: "Naughty. I like it. Where exactly are we going?"

L: "Does it matter?"

It didn't. Not to Lucas. And, not to Brooke.

B: "Not as long as we're together."

Lucas moved a hand down to her stomach and rested it over their baby.

L: "We'll always be together. I promise."

There under the twilight sky, they sat in each other's arms, in perfect bliss and endless hope, sailing away to wherever the current might take them...together.

_In my sky at twilight you are like a cloud  
__and your form and color are the way I love them.  
__You are mine, mine, woman with sweet lips  
__and in your life my infinite dreams live.  
__The lamp of my soul dyes your feet,  
__the sour wine is sweeter on your lips,  
__oh reaper of my evening song,  
__how solitary dreams believe you to be mine!  
__You are mine, mine, I go shouting it to the afternoon's  
__wind, and the wind hauls on my widowed voice.  
__Huntress of the depth of my eyes, your plunder  
__stills your nocturnal regard as though it were water.  
__You are taken in the net of my music, my love,  
__and my nets of music are wide as the sky.  
__My soul is born on the shore of your eyes of mourning.  
__In your eyes of mourning the land of dreams begin.  
__~Pablo Neruda_


	19. Epilogue: Brooke's Letter

April 22, 2013  
New York City

My dearest son,

Happy birthday! The big 18…well, in most parts of the world, this means you're a full-fledged adult, but unfortunately, here in this family, you'll always be our baby. Believe me, if anyone knows what happens in an 18 year-old's world, it's these seemingly old and clueless parents of yours. So, have that glass of champagne and toast to the bright and limitless future of yours, but put down the bottle, because mom's watching.

Your father and I wrote letters to each other once, a long time ago, when we were about your age. I'm sure if you snoop around the house diligently enough, you'll find them somewhere. Here's a motherly warning that the contents of those letters may embarrass you, but I guess you're old enough now. I thought I'd write to you this time, once a year on your birthday. So come April 22, 2030, you will have eighteen letters from me. They are yours to open whenever you wish after that date. You can read them all at once to learn about not only the important moments of your past and but also my hopes and dreams for you. Or you can save them and open when and if you ever feel lonely, confused, or lost, and I pray that you never do. I'll write so you'll always know that there's someone who is always looking out for you...and to show you that you're never alone, because the struggles and challenges you have to go through in life were the same questions I had to find answers for and the same decisions I had to make. I'll write because I never want you to forget that your father and I love you with all our hearts. And, love, my dear son, is my first and most important wish for you. Love for the work you do, of family and friends, and of that special someone. You haven't even graduated from high school yet, but somehow I feel you may already know the significance of that all-encompassing feeling. After all, high school was where your father and I first fell in love.

And where we learned, too early, the meaning of heartbreak and real tragedy. It's where we lost one of the greatest men we've ever known, the man who raised your dad as his own, your great uncle. We knew the moment we found out you were going to be a boy that you would be named after the man who taught your dad how to be a father. It took one look, no words needed to be exchanged. The world has always felt incomplete without a Keith Scott in it and we were glad that it never had to be without one anymore. So Keith Davis Scott, you should know that your name comes with a special kind of honor and respect. I have no doubt you are the one to live up to its larger than life legacy.

Sometimes I wonder who you'll become, what you'll do with your life. Will you be a writer like your father? I'm sure he has a series of best-sellers by the time you read this letter. But, you should know, these days, I'm quite proud of his latest book, a collection of short stories inspired by his conversations with strangers on the streets of New York City. He's been busy promoting it since it was published six months ago to rave reviews. Or maybe you'll be a designer like yours truly, whose latest muse is…drum roll please….well, it's you. We are launching a new line of baby clothes nationwide this summer. I not only started designing the clothes while pregnant with you and had you try them on first, but also named the line after you: _KiDS_, a version of your initials. Maybe you'll do something very different with your life. Almost since your birth, you've loved the water. So much so that I'm afraid someday you might become a regatta racer, a wreck diver, a ship captain, or even a Navy Seal. I can't help but think it's because of the first trip we took as a family before you were even born. Three weeks out at sea, just the three of us, sailing up the Atlantic to New York City. You know, that's when your father proposed. It was the night before we arrived in the City harbour, under a full moon and a million stars, in the middle of miles of open water, him down on one knee, and with you as our only witness. He claims he asked you for your permission while I was asleep, and that it was your idea to use the sailor rope for the makeshift ring.

We were married on July 21, 2012, three months after you were born, and on the anniversary of the day you were conceived. Yes, your parents had sex…I'd bet anything they still do, hopefully as often as they can, but I digress. It was a small but beautiful ceremony at sunset, on the roof of our apartment in New York City, the city that brought your parents back together…the city we have called home ever since. Well, part-time home, since it shares that title with Tree Hill for half the year. Both your grandmothers were there, of course. Oh, and if she hasn't declared it as unbreakable law yet, you should know never to call Victoria grandma. Oh, who am I kidding? You should, every chance you get. Your godparents, Hayley and Nathan, were there as our maid of honor and best man. Your sister Sawyer was our flower girl. And, not to worry, the pictures will prove that you were the guest of honor, front and center the whole time. That day, your father and I vowed to love and protect above all else, not only each other, but also the family we have felt incredibly blessed to have.

You and your sister are the glue that binds this family together forever. Since over a year ago when we set sail, we have faced anything, good or bad, life has thrown at us united in faith and with grace that comes with the belief that the four of us are stronger together than apart. And that belief feeds on our love and grows stronger each day. One day, you'll meet someone, who makes you feel as inspired as you father makes me feel every time I see him. And, you'll decide to build a life, have a family of your own. So once again, love is my first and most important wish for you. The kind of love that infuses passion and devotion in your world, the kind of love from family and friends that picks you up every time you are down, the kind of love you pour into your work that keeps you fulfilled, and the kind of everlasting love that having you brought into our lives.

And you know what? You had a pretty good start, because you are surrounded by so much love already. Earlier today, before I sat down to write this letter, all our friends and family were here at our home celebrating your first birthday. Even Sam flew in from Virginia just for the occasion. You were happy and healthy, having a blast in your father's arms playing with Sawyer, Lily, Jamie, and Lydia all around you. Your grandma Karen had baked the cake and Victoria had supplied the candles and the party hats. It was your aunt Lily and cousin Jaime who had gone overboard with the decorations. It is still impossible to take a step without getting tangled up in balloons and streamers. We never had the chance to open your presents but I have to say, you are one lucky birthday boy with a gifts table stacked halfway to the ceiling. It was your godfather Nathan's duty to hide the birthday cake so it didn't get sampled before you could blow out your one candle. But, by the way your godmother, Hayley, was looking at her husband when she lit the candle in the kitchen tells me he had been the one doing the sampling. When I dimmed the lights and carried your cake in, it didn't take long for your father to gather all the kids around the cake and for your big sisters, Sam and Sawyer, to start the happy birthday song. But let me stop there, because you can see it better than I can ever explain when you take a look at your photo album. You'll see your sister helping you blow out your candle while your dad and I made a wish for you with eyes closed. You'll see your two grandmothers leaning down to kiss you one on each cheek. You'll see aunt Millie blowing kisses at the camera, to her husband Mouth, the day's photographer. You'll see your godparents laughing and applauding, probably remembering your cousin Lydia's first birthday party. Today, everyone who loves you celebrated your first year in this world and the indescribable joy you have brought into our lives in such a short time. It was a party we'll never forget...a Davis-Scott classic. And the best thing is this journey has only just begun.

Until next year with all my love,  
_Brooke "Mom" Davis Scott_

**Author's Note: **Thank you to all of you who travelled to my imagination where I've taken more than a few liberties with the fates of another author's characters. When the actual show gives you lemons, this site provides just enough sugar-water to make some delicious lemonade. It's been a joy reading your reviews and messages, and your encouragement have definitely kept me writing. This glimpse into the life of the Davis-Scott family is over, but, depending on your feedback, a sequel or a different story is not out of the realm of possibility. I hope you had as much fun reading _In My Sky at Twilight_ as I did writing it. Thank you, and goodbye, for now.


End file.
